Can't make up my mind..

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2012
Can't make up my mind..
14
Thu, 02-09-2012 - 8:48pm
I have been in a relationship for 3 years with a man who doesn't trust me...our first year was great. He helped me out a whole lot and I do appreciate it but I am just unhappy. He was in a minor accident last year that took away his transportation so I have been financially supporting the home with me and my son's income. Instead of helping he racks the bills up by ordering 200 dollars in porn....monthly!!! Sure he does lil jobs but those barely buy groceries and hygiene..he constantly accuses me of searching for attention because of the clothes I wear... I own one pair of jeans 3 pajamas pants and tank tops cause I can't afford to buy anything.....I hate to put him out because he helped me in the beginning but I need to get me together I don't go nowhere because he calls me every 5 minutes asking where I am....if I don't hear my phone?????WORLD WAR 4....Someone please help me

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 02-09-2012 - 8:53pm

I don't know what there possibly could be to make your mind up about--you are supporting the man but he wastes your money on porn so that you can't even buy clothes for yourself and accuses you of doing things that you're not doing and you are not sure that you should break up w/ him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2012
Thu, 02-09-2012 - 8:56pm
Thanx
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Fri, 02-10-2012 - 12:15am

What is there to make up your mind about?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2012
Fri, 02-10-2012 - 12:17am
Thru time Warner cable but I do thank Yu for the advice. . He has to go
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Fri, 02-10-2012 - 2:18am
Kick his arse out and let him go find another woman who is going to put up with him running up 200.00 a month in porn on her cable bill, or put up with being called EVERY 5 MIN when she's not at home. You don't even want to leave the house because he'll be hounding you every five min .REALLY PITIFULL. I think what's going on here is that he's so afraid of losing his free ride (you) and knows darn well that he isn't going to find another woman that will put up with his crap. He's paranoid that your going to find a real man with a real job whilst your out and about and his arse will be history. He's using you and the sooner you realize that the better off you'll be.
Avatar for ukgirl82
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2005
Fri, 02-10-2012 - 7:45am
Just to reiterate what everyone else has said, this guy is super controlling and he's using you. He's jealous and controlling because he knows you deserve better than him and he's terrified you're going to figure that out, find someone better, and dump him. Which is exactly what you need to do, though not necessarily in that order. First dump him, then find someone better.

Furthermore, he's spending all your money on porn - do you really want to go into debt because of his porn addiction? When he was helping you out in the past, did you behave this way? Did you take advantage of him, use all his money on porn so he couldn't even afford new clothes and then obsess over his every little move, trying to control what clothes he wore and freaking out if he didn't answer the phone? I imagine you didn't. You've already paid back (probably triple fold) whatever you might have owed him when he helped you out in the past. You don't owe him anything more. This guy is a first class LOSER and he knows it or he wouldn't be so scared that you'll find someone else. Please get out now!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Fri, 02-10-2012 - 9:14am

You are in this relationship because of guilt.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Fri, 02-10-2012 - 12:19pm

As much of a pain as TWCable is, I'm sure they have some way of blocking the porn if you can't on your own computer.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2007
Fri, 02-10-2012 - 1:05pm

It sounds like you are at the end of your rope.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Fri, 02-10-2012 - 1:40pm
Good idea. On most services you can set up parental control to where you can block adult or any (including PPV movies) thru the menu options by entering a code. He would need to know the code to watch the movies. It's ridiculous that he is running up 200.00 mth in porn and you and your son are going without clothes and household necessities. The sad part is that he doesn't even seem to care. You owe him NOTHING. He has leeched off of you long enough.

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