Girlfriend has become very distant, Should I stay or should I go?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2012
Girlfriend has become very distant, Should I stay or should I go?
5
Thu, 02-16-2012 - 3:20pm

I've been dating a girl now for 6 months. For the first few months everything was perfect, but for the past two months things haven't been good. I've only seen her once in the past two months as she's staying away and keeps making excuses to why she can't come.(Saying she's busy, she's got too much to worry about, wants to be in her own company) Also, she hardly talks to me any more and when I text her being nice, she just ends up biting my head off. Also, she didn't come see me either on our first Valentines nor got me a card or anything. But I think it's because she's hiding something, but I may be wrong.

Another thing is that she has a 2 year old son with a previous partner. He doesn't still know about me and her, and he still has a key to her house, and stays over the night when he looks after his Son when; he could easily get a bus back home. And because she doesn't want him to find out, she doesn't let me round either. And I feel like a secret because of that, and her parents still not knowing who I am.

I've tried talking to her about the situation, but she just brushes it off. And when I don't but text her being nice and stuff, she just ends up biting my head off.

I'm falling in love with her and I'm lost as what to do. If I break up with her, it'll break my heart to do it, but then I don't think I can carry on like this. I'm in two minds, and don't know what to do. What do you suggest?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Why would you stay with a woman that has to hide you from everybody? Very suspicious. I bet she's still involved or has become reinvolved with her sons father, or maybe even someone else. She's obviously trying to give you the brush off. Say goodbye and don't torture yourself anymore over someone that doesn't want to be with you. Sorry your hurting but you need to walk away before you get hurt any further.
Community Leader
Registered: 01-03-2004

Hi Grant,

Peace makes a very good point. Take it under advisement.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2012

Yeah, technically it has been four months if you count the 2 months I haven't seen her. I seen her once in that two months, and that was on my birthday last week. My Mum has also said 'I bet she's still involved with her ex' and 'She's just messing you around'.

When I've questioned her about telling her parents and the ex partner, she just says 'You don't tell me what to do. I do what I want, when I want and how I want.' She goes onto me about hiding things, accusing me of cheating when I'm not. And I've always said that 'If you're being accused, usually they're doing it themselves'.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Aww,,,there's lots of gals looking for a nice guy like you. Don't put up with one that just wants to plays head games with you. You know you deserve better.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009

You were dating her.....but did you ever have a "commitment" conversation?