How do i make him leave when my son will hate me

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2012
How do i make him leave when my son will hate me
Wed, 02-08-2012 - 8:48pm
I had dated my now husband for 4 yrs before we got married. I found out he cheated on me pretty much the whole time we were dating. Well we have been married now for 3 yrs. and I found out he cheated on me again. My son is very upset he heard me tell him to leave. He is my roomate there is no romanticism in our lives anymore. But this is my 2nd marriage and he saw his biological dad leave this is just a heart breaking situation. What do I do.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Thu, 02-09-2012 - 12:18am

How old is your son?

Avatar for ukgirl82
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2005
Thu, 02-09-2012 - 5:12am
Is his biological dad still in his life? If so, I think he'll be okay - he has a father and doesn't need a step father. It may be hard at first if they got along well but ultimately, he already has a father figure in his life and will get over this.

If his biological father is not in his life, I can understand why you are concerned. To have two father figures walk out of his life, it will likely influence him greatly. Especially if he's young and doesn't remember his biological father very well and therefore his step dad was the only father he ever really knew, this will be hard on him. But that should NOT hold you hostage in an unhappy relationship. If he's having a difficult time dealing with it, get him in therapy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Thu, 02-09-2012 - 9:10am

Explain to your son that even though you won't be together anymore, that doesn't mean he can't still have a relationship with your ex. Adults sometimes have relationships that don't work and it has nothing to do with the kids, but in order to be happy, they need to make changes to the way they live. Tell him that you have no desire to come between them and you want them to have a great relationship. And if this person was a father figure to him, then I really think you should try to keep him involved in your son's life. don't know how old your son is, but a kid of any age should be able to understand this. You are the parent, your son doesn't rule your household or your marriage... Still, having two "fathers" leave his life, this has to be extremely painful for your son. I sympathize with him, this is going to make adult life very difficult for him.