Really need advice..should I keep an open mind?? Or am i getting desperate..

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2006
Really need advice..should I keep an open mind?? Or am i getting desperate..
5
Sun, 02-19-2012 - 5:14pm

I really need to vent and I need advice about my dating dilema. I met a guy from online who lives 3 hours from me. He visited me the first time. The date went pretty well. It takes me time to really like someone but I wasn't in a rush to leave so that's a good sign. We also kissed and they were good kisses. It felt like we both were attracted. He sent me flowers for V-day after one date. We had been talking for two weeks though.

I felt it was reasonable given the distance, that it was my turn to visit him. I don't have my own place right now which may have to change if i keep seeing him..not sure how though. He also has a son. Things are civil with the mother but all this limits his time even more because he has to work around her schedule and has the son pretty often. It's nice but I am just saying it's hard to start something with all of this on top of distance. It's not like I can leave after work on a friday and be with him all weekend. He usually has him some part of the weekend.

So I wake early to take my time getting ready and leave by 1pm to get to the train station, buy my ticket and board at 2. From there, it's a two hour train ride and then i have to transfer to another train and it's an hour on that train. I thought the second train ran often. I get there at 4, was told the next train is at 4:40 and I buy the ticket. 4:40 comes and nothing is posted. I waited til almost 5 and asked someone else and he said 6:00, 6:10 is the next train!! At that point, I felt upset. I didn't want to wait 2 hours for a train, to be on it for an hour and only have very little time with him..and then i would have to travel home (going home we planned that he would drive me to the next station so then my ride home is only 2 hours but still)

He said i could stay over but I was not even ready for that in terms of not having clothes and just not being prepared for that tonight. I was on the train anyway and just wanted to go home at that point. He said the 2nd train ran every 20 minutes and when it didn't i just felt upset. I was almost crying for some reason.

I got home around 7:30 and basically spent all this money and time today riding trains. I just wanted to lay down when I got home.

I just feel torn because he seems like a nice guy and maybe i should be open minded for awhile. I obviously can't do this every weekened though. I am also 27 years old and don't want to waste my time. I'm thinking ahead only because he lives sort of far. I need to be near a city with job opportunity and I don't think where he is, there is much. If he is set on living in that area forever because of his son then I guess this is over.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007

ge56, it sounds too much like hard work for me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2006

i have had zero luck finding someone..i have been single for a few years now..so now that this nice guy (so far)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009

You just met him.......and you aren't in a committed relationship with him.......so why can't you just keep looking?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2010

I dated a guy who lived on a different continent and every time seeing each other meant paying thousands of dollars and travelling for hours. We are now happily married. If the love is in question, you would not think it is hard work. Few hours by train is not a big deal if you think it would lead somewhere.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

Everybody has their own opinions on what distance is too far.