Firstly, I am sorry to have read through your post, it sounds like you are going through some difficulties with this man, all centered around money.
You're clearly a determined individual where you went back to school after several years of raising children.
we had an agreement that I'd pay him 800/mo. and buy groceries, pay the cable, phone & internet that was made b4 we moved here....it was all I could afford in addition to paying my own car payment & other bills.....
I also have a pension coming to me from my exhb.
He really doesn't have much to worry about, and he knows about all these things I have coming...?????
Wow, this marriage sounds like a business arrangement between two people who don't even speak the same language.
"I don't know" is not a good enough answer when you're making a decision to spend the rest of your lives together. Yes, I would cancel wedding plans. It doesn't mean YOU are the bad guy just because you are delivering the news, and any reasonable friend or family member would understand that. All you have to say is "we decided to postpone the wedding while we work some things out". You don't need to go into detail.
This marriage sounds like a bad idea until you learn how to communicate better... At the very least, he is having difficulty figuring out what he wants and so he's picking things to justify his doubts (cats, job). How long have you been together, and how long have you been engaged?
I think you need to get your fiance to talk about what is really bothering him and if you can't do it just the 2 of you, then get the assitance of your pastor or a marriage counselor.
We've been together since Aug. 2010, 1 year and 5 months.
$800/month just to him and you pay all those other bills? What is he paying? On the surface, it seems pretty one sided.
He uses that 800 towards the mortgage, elec, gas, water, garbage, and he bought new appliances for this house, is going to fix up the pool w/new liner, pump, etc., he also has another house he's renting out b/c it wouldn't sell,& he's got 2 kids he pays c/s for with one in college.
If your money is being put toward the mortgage, is your name on the deed?
This sounds more like a landlord/tenant relationship than a future marriage.
I see. Maybe it is all just happening fast for him? Can you get him away for a long weekend, no kids and just time for the 2 of you?