WHY IS IT SO HARD TO LEAVE AN UNHAPPY MARRIAGE?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2011
WHY IS IT SO HARD TO LEAVE AN UNHAPPY MARRIAGE?
4
Fri, 02-17-2012 - 4:01pm

This is long but I am going to try to sum it up.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Sat, 02-18-2012 - 12:40am

For starters, inform your husband that your 4 year old is IN a broken home, and he will be better off OUT of it.

Avatar for ukgirl82
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2005
Sat, 02-18-2012 - 5:10am
" Then he started saying I never gave him a chance to change and he wants to see this guy for anger management and that he deserves another chance."

He is trying to lay all the blame on you when the fault lies with his own abusive nature - that's very common in abusers. You gave him plenty of chances to change.

"He put me through hell for most of our marriage with verbal abuse but why do I feel so horrible to end the marriage."

Because that's what abuse does... the abuse is designed to manipulate you into feeling guilty about doing the right thing for yourself. But deep down, you know you've already endured more than anyone should have to - you are not breaking your vows easily - HE breaks his vows every time he verbally abuses you. fissatore is right, your son is already in a broken home because he's living in an abusive home.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2011
Sat, 02-18-2012 - 10:10pm

Thank you so much for the advice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
Mon, 02-27-2012 - 3:56pm
Verbal, emotional, or physical abuse can honestly kill the love in any relationship.

I have been there and done that. I really could care less if my husband at the time got better and completely turned himself around. I simply could not care any more for him. I wished him well, but I personally did not have any more to give. I also begged him to get help as well. Not everyone should get multiple second chances.

Do not blame yourself for his abuse killing the love! No one says you have to take back someone who verbally abused you! You are not bad for wanting something better!