17 years of marriage gone?

Sorry, last post was short, I'm stuck on my phone at this point bc kids are occupying every computer in house. When we lost the baby (2nd miscarriage btw) the doctors weren't even sure she was pregnant. Her blood levels were high then low, then high again. There was concern there was a tumor, anything. She went in for surgery, and there were so many possibilities at that time quite honestly I was elated that she was alive at the end of the day. I have always supported my wife, I work full time but i do have more flexible hours then a typical job. We lived off my pay for years. After her mother died in 2002, I took over the time that my mil watched kids. So over a 2 week period, I watched kids 5 weekdays, wife watched them 5 weekdays. Sometimes I took them to work, later, sometimes i could let them be home for a few hours alone with the older kids. I became the primary caregivers though, while still working. She took a salary position 3 years ago and isn't home at all now. I have always done everything with the thought of my family first. Everyone is pretty much right, she wants out, I have to let her out. I don't want to be the one leaving the kids though, I decided when I file it will be for custody, not visitation. She can have them on weekends, honestly I'll probably have them then anyway because she does nothing with their activities. As far as problems at home in front of the kids, there isn't any. We don't discuss anything in front of them, and we are reasonable enough to save any disagreement for privacy. But, I am done, she has lost me. Even if she changed her mind at this point I think I can't go back to being with her. Just sucks because I do still love her, have told her so and she doesn't want to try to make it work. Anyway, thanks for listening.