21 year marriage in big trouble
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21 year marriage in big trouble
| Mon, 05-31-2004 - 4:15am |
I have been happily married for 21 years and now if feel like I am falling OUT of love with him. I even told him that because he once again broke a promise to me and is lying all the time. He has become a workaholic and I am so heart broken because I have loved him for so long. We are seeing a marriage counslor for about a month and it has helped, but he just keeps on letting me down. The hardest part of this is that we have 4 beatiful kids that will be devastated if we can't work this out. He is depressed and has OCD. I think his working so much is about OCD, but his not being honest has made me not trust him. He has been the most wonderful husband until recently. My Mom died a awful death about 6 months ago and it was so hard. Iam still sad and miss her. I don't know what to do HELP!

If this is truly not in character for him, then I would say that he has issues that need attention from a psychologist or psychiatrist. Marriage counseling may help, but ultimately this is not a marital problem.
On the other hand, is it possible that he hasn't changed at all, but you have started to finally see him for who he has been the whole time? Again, since I don't have a clue what OCD is, I may be completely off base here.
Regardless of the causes behind all of this, I would remind you that your marital vows probably contained something along the lines of "for better or for worse, in sickness and in health." I know divorce seems to be the most popular solution to marital problems these days, but I hope that there are still some folks who see that as truly a last resort. There are so few couples who can manage to make it 21 years - it would be a shame if your marriage couldn't survive this hurdle.