3 years, and no proposal, what do i do?
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3 years, and no proposal, what do i do?
| Mon, 07-16-2007 - 5:49pm |
So here is my dilema... I have been dating a guy now for a little over three years. This past September we bought a house together, and everything has been going well, except for the fact that he hasn't proposed:( One of the hardest things about this is everyone around us is either married, getting married, has children, or is pregnant, and I mean everyone, all of our friends. I have made hints to him lately that I am really getting anxious about this, but his response is that he will do it when he's ready. I can understand and respect that, but jeez! Would he have really bought a house with me if thought I wasn't the one?! The only thing I can think of is money. He is very tight with his money, and trust me I know this! It doesnt bother me, because it's good to save, but I think maybe he doesn't want to fork out a few grand on a ring?! I even went so far as to telling him that if money is the issue, buy something cheap! I dont need a huge ring, it's the commitment that matters to me, not the rock. Everyone of my friends and family tells me I need to give him an altimatum, but I honestly can't see myself without him! On the same note, I can't sit around and wait forever! I want children in the next couple years. Someone please help me!!

At some point in your relationship have the two of you talked about what you want out of a relationship in general?
Aleciamo, before I can answer I need to know how old you are. If you are 23, my answer will be vastly different to if you are 33.
Because you want children, I will be considering the fact that your fertility starts to rapidly decline after you reach 35.
Thank you for your response. Basically, we have discussed our future and we both know that we want marriage and children, but it seems like he keeps pushing this back. It's almost like, "why buy the cow...." I'm sure youv'e heard of that. We have even discussed where this "someday" wedding will take place. He just tells me that he doesn't want to rush into things and he isn't ready. Like I said, I understand, but I AM ready, and I almost feel like it isn't fair to me to have to sit around and wait until he DECIDES he is ready. Does this make sense? When we went into this realtionship, I told how I was hoping things would fall into place. My biggest concern is to have my children before I am 30. Simply because my Mom went into Menopause at 32 and my Grandmother at 36. The chances are too high, and I want children more than life itself! He knows this, and his remark is, "it will happen when it happens". I have tried to have serious talks with him, and I get the same answer. We are both 24, both graduated from college, both make good money working full-time career based jobs. I hope this gives a little more insight.
Thanks again for your help:)
Thanks for commenting:)
We are both 24, graduated from college, make good money in career based jobs. Thanks for your help. OH yeah... One thing I left out, my Mom went through Menopause at 32 and her Mother at 36. My boyfriend knows this, but says, "it will happen when it happens". Don't know if this will help or not.
Thanks for your help:)
I can see your point of view: you are thinking that you may have between eight and twelve years to get married and have your family. I can also see his point of view: he's a young guy who wants to do young-guy things, and your biological clock isn't ticking for him.
Since you may be making some life-altering decisions in the next couple of months, let me ask you something. How much of your own money have you sunk into the house?