7 year marriage

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2004
7 year marriage
2
Fri, 09-03-2004 - 11:42pm
Im just wondering if anyone out there has any advise on showing more confidence with/ to my husband. when it is just us everything is fine, But when we are apart I really doubt who I am fo him. He spends alot of time at camp and out with people and Ive always stayed home with the kids - that is changing. The thing is I see the women in that he is partiing with and hear what the "guys" talk about and it makes me feel insecure. He says I should not worry about it and I justcant help but get this feeling. I havent been able to do what most girls do at my age (Imarried young) he is 7 yrs older than me.Becuase Im too busy taking care of th e house or kids and my job. I dont have tim e to workout( I used to all the time) And then I make time for him when he is home. I jus tfeel very bad about myself I wish I didnt feel like he was comparing me.........

Is it just me?

Some advise please.........

:)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
In reply to: u2erin77
Sat, 09-04-2004 - 10:50am
Did I understand your post correctly? You two are married and he is out partying with other women?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2004
In reply to: u2erin77
Sat, 09-04-2004 - 11:31am
U2erin77...I had a family member go through what you are going through. On a happy note, my sister and my brother-in-law are doing great now, after almost 9 years of marriage. They got married young (same age, though) and her husband went through his "party phase". He partied with his friends, male and female, and one female in particular seemed to have a close relationship with him. They were neighbors growing up. No one seems to know if anything ever happened or not, but I think my sister went through some trying times, home alone with a baby and she wasn't even 20. My sister is not one to sit back and let people take advantage of her or take her for granted. She has enough respect for herself to communicate with her husband about the situation. And it stopped. Now, they have people over to visit with both of them, as a couple. Or they get a babysitter, and go out together. He has his time alone when he plays sports, but it's with the guys. And she has her time away, with the girls.



I think you need to talk to your husband. You are not irrational. You deserve respect. You deserve to be noticed. You deserve to have fun, too. All I know is that without communication, things fall apart. Not that my marriage is perfect, but both my husband and I try, because we care about the other's feelings. It is a work in progress.