about to give up
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about to give up
| Fri, 01-18-2008 - 10:40pm |
I have known this guy for a yr and four months, and within this year and four months he was separated from his wife but with in that time he went back to her three times. But we happily dated for

Welcome to the board jackieb1981,
I know you have a son together and I know that having kids together makes it hard, but he's not done right by his (ex)wife or you from the get-go.
I am really not ok with the situation but I am having such a hard time letting go. I am really not sure what is best for me. I am raising two kids on my own with not really any help from the fathers. I do not work and really do not get out at all and do not have any friends or any close family. So I am stuck out here on my own. And you ask
'I am raising two kids on my own with not really any help from the fathers.'
Are you getting child support?
Jackie, Gina's right: you are entitled to support for your children, whether their fathers are interested or not, and the state will collect it for you and put it in your bank account every month. If they won't pay, the state will put them in jail until they do. You aren't doing yourself or your children any favors by letting them weasel out of their parental responsibilities--everybody has to grow up.
Also, your final sentence--the one Eggbert responded to--reads, "Does he want to be with me or am I just kidding myself HELP!!!!!!" She says that you're kidding yourself, and I'm inclined to agree. As for shedding light, you have shed it yourself, but you're not looking at it. Let's see:
The two of you started dating 16 months ago. At that time he was still married, and apparently he still is. If he wanted to be divorced, he has had plenty of time to file, but he hasn't done it--I think we can safely say that although he may be unhappily married, HE DOESN'T WANT TO DIVORCE HIS WIFE.
You believe that you became pregnant on the third date. This is a comment on your self-esteem, that you had unsafe sex with a man you really didn't know.
Within the 16 months that you've known him, he has gone back to his wife three times--because he DOESN'T WANT TO DIVORCE HER.
He argues with you when you try to talk to him about a relationship because he doesn't want to have a relationship with you--he doesn't want to divorce his wife. He puts you off about his intentions, and won't let you express your feelings.
As a result of his treatment, you feel hurt, angry, and depressed. You have to take anti-depressants, and are having a hard time taking care of the people who should be your first concern.
He doesn't express his emotions, telephones briefly and infrequently, and seldom comes to see you. When he does visit, he doesn't talk to you, touch you, or share any feelings.
What do you see in this description, from your own post, that leads you to believe that he might want to be with you? That's why Eggbert feels that you are indeed kidding yourself, and I agree. I'm sorry, but it's time to get child support from this man and move on emotionally.
"Does he want to be with me or am I just kidding myself HELP!!!!!!"
I just agreed with you. I think you're kidding yourself if you think this is the right man for a relationship with you. He should be treating you better but he doesn't. You argue a whole lot after only seven months together. It sounds like you're forcing it and I don't think it's going to turn out the way you want.
thank for the input............not to keep dragging it on but he did leave his wife and there are not living together anymore, and they have file for the divorce.but it's not final yet
Ok, maybe the question, why are you ok with this? was worded wrong.