About to give up...
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About to give up...
| Sat, 05-22-2004 - 12:13am |
Hey Ya'll, ok I am not sure about all this...but here goes, I've only been in a couple relationships, none of which have been successful at all. In fact, they only lasted about two or three months tops. But I thought I had finally found a guy that was worth torturing myself over (which is how I've come to view dating).
It took him two months of being best friends before he asked me out, and I really liked that because he knew how hurt I was in my last relationship. So we took our time, and now it's going on two months of actually dating (4 months of being "together"). Just recently things started to be weird, and realizing that the fateful two months are almost up, I'm scared that I'm going to lose the guy that I believe I love. We have not had sex (but we have fooled around orally), and we have not exchanged I love you's.
He used to treat me so good, now he doesn't take me out anymore and we haven't had a night alone or even hardly an hour alone for over two weeks. He's been with his friend (who is a really good friend of mine too) 24/7. He wants me to come over, but when I do, he either plays video games or his guitar, or they drive around the yard on their ATV's. I understand he needs his guy time, but I need some time too. I'm so scared that my curse is true and that I'll be heartbroken again in another couple days. It's like they get to know me and then I'm no longer anything but a friend. It breaks my heart, and I've been crying alot because I don't want to lose him! But I don't know what to do! I am afraid to talk to him about it because he might think that I'm making him choose me or friends, but I'm not...I just want a little time with him. I've even played hard to get...and it was easy for me to have another life because of a work and school...I'm just really scared to lose him...he's perfect...and different from any other guy...I can't lose him! Any ideas? Anything is welcome...I'm just about to give up completely! Please help!
Cowgirl
It took him two months of being best friends before he asked me out, and I really liked that because he knew how hurt I was in my last relationship. So we took our time, and now it's going on two months of actually dating (4 months of being "together"). Just recently things started to be weird, and realizing that the fateful two months are almost up, I'm scared that I'm going to lose the guy that I believe I love. We have not had sex (but we have fooled around orally), and we have not exchanged I love you's.
He used to treat me so good, now he doesn't take me out anymore and we haven't had a night alone or even hardly an hour alone for over two weeks. He's been with his friend (who is a really good friend of mine too) 24/7. He wants me to come over, but when I do, he either plays video games or his guitar, or they drive around the yard on their ATV's. I understand he needs his guy time, but I need some time too. I'm so scared that my curse is true and that I'll be heartbroken again in another couple days. It's like they get to know me and then I'm no longer anything but a friend. It breaks my heart, and I've been crying alot because I don't want to lose him! But I don't know what to do! I am afraid to talk to him about it because he might think that I'm making him choose me or friends, but I'm not...I just want a little time with him. I've even played hard to get...and it was easy for me to have another life because of a work and school...I'm just really scared to lose him...he's perfect...and different from any other guy...I can't lose him! Any ideas? Anything is welcome...I'm just about to give up completely! Please help!
Cowgirl

Have you ever heard of a "self fulfilling prophecy"? It seems like what you fear most is exactly what keeps on becoming your reality. You are picking the same type of man again and again by the sounds of it. Im a firm believer that you keep getting the lesson until you learn it...and I dont think youve learned it yet.
If what you are seeking is a "dating" relationship, going out on dates, then that must be all that you will accept. Your post reminded me so much of the twenty something version of me...I wanted a relationship so I would take what was offered to me. It was only in my late twenties and now in my thirties that I realized that I have the power to define exactly what I am looking for and to not accept less. Good luck.
Thanks for the help!
Cowgirl