about lying

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2006
about lying
1
Sat, 05-05-2007 - 8:26pm

I just broke up with my boyfriend of four years who I thought I was going to marry! We just started a long distance relationship a week ago, and he made plans to go to florida to see his friend, probably to take his mind off of our long distance. I saw his ticket but he didnt know, and he didnt tell me.

the reason he didnt tell me is because he knew i'd be nervous about this friend because this friend goes to stripclubs all the time and sleeps with the strippers, brings them home, etc, and also hes a big cheater. so i thought my boyfriend would have the guts to tell me the day of the flight...instead, he lied sooo much!! he lied one lie after another, until he got tangled and messed up his lies, and realized he was caught lying. so i told him to have fun in florida, which i'm sure shocked him that i knew, and hung up. he finally called the next day and apologized, saying he thought i'd freak out if i knew he was going there, because of the way i react about his friend.

so i broke up with him over this. the thing is, hes lied about porn like four times to me. i'm worried now that he'll lie about anything he could possibly think would bother me. does that sound right? i mean, i did freak out about that friend before. its just hard because hes a best friend and we planned to marry each other. but trust is everything...and it lost..just wondering what anyones thoughts on this was?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2005
In reply to: orchid374
Sun, 05-06-2007 - 1:19am
You're right to be mad about him not telling you about his trip to Florida...4 years together is way too long to be acting like that. I certainly would be pissed off. You're also justified in feeling nervous about your bf seeing a friend who behaves in that way...although if your bf is truly trustworthy it might bother him that you can't trust him and just let him be with his friend. Still, that's not a reason for him to lie to you about going to see him. I would have a talk with him and say just what you've said-- 'you've lied to me over such little things, what else could you imagine lying to me about?' See what he has to say, and follow your heart. If your heart says don't trust him, there's probably a good reason for it.