About the postings...........

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2004
About the postings...........
1
Wed, 02-04-2004 - 12:18pm
After reading some of your notes I thought mabye I should share more about how this all came about.We married in "01" and he went to jail afew months later.I was faithful untill he stopped writting and told me he didn't want me anymore so I should move on.So I did what he said.When he got out I was still with the other guy and six months pregant.The other guy kicked me out and I had nowhere to go so my husbands parents let me mkove in.We was living there and within a month we were trying to find each other again.He was there when my daughter was born and even cut the cord.He has been good to her while we are togeather but as soon as we split up he has very little to do with her.He will come pick up his kids but not her.He is the one she calls dada.She turns a year old on Tuesday and he is all she knows.Her real father comes in and out of her life right now.We go to court in March to set up child support and vistation.She has a brother and sister by me and by her real father she has four sisters and one brother.I try to include them in anything that she is in.Am I wrong to include them?I mean after all it is not thier falt.Or should I wait till she is old enough to understand who they are?But if I do is that right to them?I know how hard it is to not know the other side of your family.Will it be the same for her.I just what to do what is right for the children.I say the children because her brothers and sisters did nothing wrong to be hurt either.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
Wed, 02-04-2004 - 4:21pm
You want to try and do your best, under your difficult circumstances, to provide as much stability as possible. You are not really involved with these other children, and your daughter does have siblings at home. As a single mother, (and I should know!) you've got enough on your plate raising the three you have, without worrying about your ex's offspring. Concentrate on doing your best to foster loving relationships between the children you have at home, to make them all feel equally loved and special, and with time, I'm sure your daughter will come to know her other siblings better. It's a great shame that your ex will not step up to the plate and include her - one hopes that one day, he'll grow up enough to realize how selfish and cruel his behavior has been.

I wish you well.

Peace - Pebbles