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|Mon, 07-25-2011 - 3:14pm|
Hi, I’m having a bit of a problem in my relationship and would like to get some real applicable feedback.
I’ve been in a relationship with my bf for close to 5 years. We’ve been living together for over a year now but we’re nowhere near marriage (it was always his choice but now . . . I kinda dont want to get married either). My problem is . . . he’s not ‘present’ in the relationship. I know we both have our issues to go through, but I feel like everything is left to me to remind him, to do for him, to fix or have fixed, to take care of. He doesnt SEE anything thats happening, he doesnt listen when I speak, he doesnt hear anything. All he does is come home and play games. Normally I wouldnt have a problem with that because sometimes I want my space as well. But then he plays games well into the night, after I’ve done so much for the house, for him, for me. I feel like I’m always on duty, I always HAVE to be on duty because he’s ‘checked out’ of the life – with me. I dont want to take it personally but its hard not to when I’m the one with the 'nasty' end of the stick.
I’ve tried talking to him about it, and he's admitted he’s not all-together ‘here’, but does he do anything different? Nope! It got to the point the other day where HE made a very nice suggestion out of the blue to me and I was – you know – answering him (telling him when I think we can do it), and he didnt even listen to what I said, he didnt even notice that I walked away! HE started the conversation and couldnt even focus long enough. I mean, IF I bore him, he should say something instead of wandering off! If we’re having a conversation (by the grace of God these days) I have to repeat everything I say 2-3 times before he hears me. I have to constantly remind him of what we were talking about and this is all frustrating to me. I am tired of repeating myself to this fully grown man!