abuse

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2003
abuse
1
Sat, 05-01-2004 - 10:09pm
I am currently in an abusive relationship that seems too difficult to get out of. The guy I am with does not abuse me physically...he abuses me verbally. I have never been treated by ANYONE the way that he treats me. I mean, I found out that he was cheating on me and when I tried to talk to him about it he said "SHUT UP! I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THIS!" Whenever I try to ask him a question, such as, do you love me He will saying "I'M NOT ANSWERING YOUR QUESTIONS. ALL OF YOUR QUESTIONS ARE DUMB." He even had the nerve to say "there is no such thing as a dumb question, just dumb people who ask questions." Etc. Etc. If I say the wrong thing to him he will say "F--- you" and cuss me out. Whenever I try to just cuddle with him, he will pull his arm away and yell "get the f--- off of me." What makes me mad is when he says "This is the type of person I am and you need to deal with it." He takes advantage of me and I'm the stupid one for falling for it each and everytime, but he blackmails me and makes false promises to me.

I can talk to my male friends about anything and ask them any question on earth and they will answer it. NO male has ever disrespected me like this or cussed me out, or even manipulated me to get what he wanted.

He even has the nerve to say that he cares about me, etc. I don't trust him. I really don't. And what is a relationship without trust.

If he instant messages me he expects me to respond back immediately. If I don't, he will cuss me out. But when I expect him to respond back to me, he will say "you are so impatient. You make me so mad!!" Then, he believes that it is ok to call me at 2:30 in the morning. When I don't answer he leaves voice messages and he is upset. But the other night when I called him at 11pm he told me "DON'T YOU EVER CALL ME THAT LATE AGAIN!"

I know how to leave but I just need some encouragement. I really just want to get back at him.

Yesterday he promised to come pick me up. He even promised to pick me up and take me out tonight. But I have not heard from him since yesterday morning. He won't pick up his phone either.

He even called me a liar the other day...which I am not. He is the one who lies.

I mean, this is no where near as painful as a broken heart...but it makes me mad that he does this to me. Could it be because he just got out of prison last year (he has been there for 3 years) or is he just an evil and cruel person? When I first met him he wasn't like this. Also, when I get upset at him for treating me the way he does he will say "oh you are showing me your true colors now." Well what is he showing?!!! I've never experienced anything like this in my life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2004
In reply to: baby_girl24
Sat, 05-01-2004 - 11:12pm
Please tell me you’re like 16 and this is your first relationship. What are you thinking? I have issues too don’t get me wrong, but why would you take this from him. Getting even? What has that got to do with it? Don’t even go there with him, or any relationship it never pays off, trust me. You don’t live together, or have any real commitments right. Just stop while you can save your own dignity.