Advice needed--what i should do...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2007
Advice needed--what i should do...
2
Thu, 05-24-2007 - 12:55pm
I'm having a problem with my bf of almost 1.5 yrs, (Al)...we met each other because we were roommates in a house of 6 people...i found him to be incredibly sexy and i think he liked me too...however we were both in other "relationships" when we met. he kept saying things like, "you owe me a movie" ...which i kind of took offense to, because i gave absolutely no prior indication that i wanted to watch a movie with him in his room (even though i secretly did want to...i never expressed that to him). one thing that flattered me was that he would come into my room seeking advice for problems he was having with the girl he was currently dating...i tried to cover up that i liked him, saying, "well, you should keep trying with this girl" but really i wanted him to try with ME!! i was kind of waiting for him to make the first move, but he never really did. probably because i was trying hard for a guy who i really really liked at the time, but who kept treating me like crap and did not like me in return! i guess i'm kind of responsible for what happened next. i knew Al liked me, but i really liked Matt, and i thought that if i went for Al, Matt would express interest in me. but that never happened! so i've been with Al ever since. and even though he is not my ideal for a bf, he has a lot of nice qualities...but we fight quite a bit...and i feel guilty for not feeling the same way about him as he feels about me. i made a huge mistake, and i don't want to tell Al that I went out with him to try to get Matt to like me. Al is a nice guy, and he deserves to know about this...but i don't want to hurt him! at the same time i don't want him to leave me. my ideal is ultimately that Matt would make contact with me again (we haven't talked since me and Al started dating--1.5 years!!!!) what should i do now? (ps i'm living with Al now!!!)
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Thu, 05-24-2007 - 2:36pm

Welcome to the board pixistix84,


You need to end the relationship with Al. He deserves to be with someone that wants to be with him and that likes him as much as he likes them. Not someone who thinks being with him is a mistake and who is hoping that another guy

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Thu, 05-24-2007 - 4:34pm

You're waiting for a guy who treated you like crap to get back in contact with you? A guy who didn't like you? Matt didn't like you, and you don't like Al, but you're afraid to lose him. That says that you are deeply insecure, and need to spend some time getting your thoughts in order and your priorities straight.

As Coltara said, it's time to let Al go, because he is only there for your convenience, and he deserves better. Take some time to be alone and learn to stand on your own two feet before combining your life with another's.