afraid my boyfriend will leave me
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afraid my boyfriend will leave me
| Fri, 10-15-2004 - 11:21am |
I need your opinion please.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 months. In those 10 months i got pregnant, got dumped by him, had a miscarriage and we have argued about my insecurities a lot. Ever since the beginning i've been insecure. I always thought he was only with me because there was nobody else. he has no friends and i live in fear that he'll meet people and dump me soon.
When i got pregnant he wanted me to get an abortion. I didn't do it so for a few days he left and said that he would only pay child support but that he didn't know where we were going to be as a couple...he was resentful that i was keeping the baby and ruining his life. At one point he even told me that having a baby together didn't mean marriage or that we would be together for ever. He told me he would be around for the baby go to the doctor's visits and be part of his life because it was his "duty".
I had a miscarriage and he was there for me to support me, pampered me and somehow after that everything went back to normal. Did he really love me? Every day now even more i live with the fear that he never really loved me and that soon he'll find someone else. also, he's always telling that we live our relationship on a day to day basis? what does that mean?
If it was so easy for him to leave me and act mean toward me while i was pregnant what tells me he wont do it again? makes me think my intuitions were always right.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 months. In those 10 months i got pregnant, got dumped by him, had a miscarriage and we have argued about my insecurities a lot. Ever since the beginning i've been insecure. I always thought he was only with me because there was nobody else. he has no friends and i live in fear that he'll meet people and dump me soon.
When i got pregnant he wanted me to get an abortion. I didn't do it so for a few days he left and said that he would only pay child support but that he didn't know where we were going to be as a couple...he was resentful that i was keeping the baby and ruining his life. At one point he even told me that having a baby together didn't mean marriage or that we would be together for ever. He told me he would be around for the baby go to the doctor's visits and be part of his life because it was his "duty".
I had a miscarriage and he was there for me to support me, pampered me and somehow after that everything went back to normal. Did he really love me? Every day now even more i live with the fear that he never really loved me and that soon he'll find someone else. also, he's always telling that we live our relationship on a day to day basis? what does that mean?
If it was so easy for him to leave me and act mean toward me while i was pregnant what tells me he wont do it again? makes me think my intuitions were always right.
Please, anyone?

2 words from Pianoguy: DUMP HIM!
I'm very sorry about the miscarriage, but a child should never be brought into the world as "an obligation between 2 people"----and it's clear that the only reason you got the attention was because there was a baby on the way.
Being the "california girl" that your profile indicated, I'm sure you can do much better in a man...if you give yourself a chance? Your current companion might behave like (kindly) Dr. Jekyll with you right now....but (nasty) Mr. Hyde will be back! TRUST ME!
Pianoguy
Carrie
I really care for him =(
It doesn't sound as though this man is capable of love. He seems to have some serious difficulties in relationships. You yourself said he has no friends. There's a reason for that. His behavior towards you when you were pregnant was distressing. Clearly, he didn't want a child and clearly he isn't ready for committment and responsibility of any kind with you.
Take a good look and see why you are still with him? If he behaved that way one time it seems very likely he would again, should the occassion arise. Is this what you want in life? Are you hoping to build a relationship with someone which could lead to marriage and a family? If so, why are you with this man?
Best wishes.
It's A New Day With Dr Shoshanna - Wed. 2-3 EST.
I do have a low self- esteem. My ex-boyfriend left me after 4 years for his co-worker.
I can't live like this anymore...I'm tired of worrying everyday that he's going to leave me.
Reading material to consider:
How to Raise Your Self-Esteem, Nathaniel Brandon
The Aladdin Factor, Jack Canfield & Mark Victor Hansen
The Magic of Thinking Big, David J. Schwartz
Learning to Love Yourself: Finding Your Self-Worth, by Sharon Wegscheider Cruse
Self Matters, Phil McGraw
Carrie