After 10 years...
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After 10 years...
| Sun, 08-05-2007 - 8:34pm |
Hi! I saw a blog that was entitled "After 20 years" but I couldn't find the original message. However, based on the responses, I can only assume that it is one about someone who has been in a marriage for 20 years and the spouse cheated.
I'm not sure what lead me to this site but I'm here and unfortunately with the same broken heart as that person who posted that discussion. I decided to post because I just don't have anyone to vent to. Of all the people in my life I have always been the one that people run to for advise and I couldn't possibly show my weakness.
Frankly, I am tired of crying and distrusting. I recently found that my boyfriend of 10 years signed a membership with Match.com and also found an actual chat between him and a lady which says he was going to meet up with her at this bar. She even gave her number. I don't know how long ago this was but it certainly isn't before we got together. I haven't told him I founf this and I have just been acting so depressed since. He notices how sad I have been lately and we actually had a conversation and I had implied that I assumed he was ceating on me and of course he denied it. I told him to let me go and he refuses because he claims he loves me so much and that he wasn't cheating on me. I didn't want to mention what I had found because I didn't want him to know that I went through his things. Unfortunately his words gave me no comfort especially when he comes home after 10pm. My mind simply going crazy and my heart has been beating so fast lastly because it just feel so broken.
To be honest, I would realy want to get through this... I keep telling myself I will not go down without a fight. 10 years is a long investment and we do love each other. I suppose he just don't love me enough to be faithful. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel dumb for giving him another chance but I feel broken everytime I think of leaving.
Last night as was acting sad again and I think he is getting fed up so perhaps I should mention what I had discovered and he can fess up. Am I just being stupid?
I'm not sure what lead me to this site but I'm here and unfortunately with the same broken heart as that person who posted that discussion. I decided to post because I just don't have anyone to vent to. Of all the people in my life I have always been the one that people run to for advise and I couldn't possibly show my weakness.
Frankly, I am tired of crying and distrusting. I recently found that my boyfriend of 10 years signed a membership with Match.com and also found an actual chat between him and a lady which says he was going to meet up with her at this bar. She even gave her number. I don't know how long ago this was but it certainly isn't before we got together. I haven't told him I founf this and I have just been acting so depressed since. He notices how sad I have been lately and we actually had a conversation and I had implied that I assumed he was ceating on me and of course he denied it. I told him to let me go and he refuses because he claims he loves me so much and that he wasn't cheating on me. I didn't want to mention what I had found because I didn't want him to know that I went through his things. Unfortunately his words gave me no comfort especially when he comes home after 10pm. My mind simply going crazy and my heart has been beating so fast lastly because it just feel so broken.
To be honest, I would realy want to get through this... I keep telling myself I will not go down without a fight. 10 years is a long investment and we do love each other. I suppose he just don't love me enough to be faithful. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel dumb for giving him another chance but I feel broken everytime I think of leaving.
Last night as was acting sad again and I think he is getting fed up so perhaps I should mention what I had discovered and he can fess up. Am I just being stupid?

Hi live_love_laugh_76,
Here's the 'After 20 Years' post:
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlrelationsh/?msg=29077.1
You are not stupid. He's betrayed you by signing up, chatting and getting a number. In my book that is cheating and certianly not the behavior of someone in a committed relationship.
I think the only way you can move forward is to be open and honest with him.