ON AGAIN....OFF AGAIN

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
ON AGAIN....OFF AGAIN
3
Wed, 01-28-2004 - 10:17am
is this normal........?

me and my ex have be together for almost 5yrs, until Nov. we broke up and i wanted time to myself. see for the last year or so when we were together i would be happy for about 3 months and then start thinking and wondering how it would be with another guy (as far as being in a relationship). and we would brake up and then get back together. when we were together i would ask him when are we going to move out and take the next step in our relationship and he would always have reasons why we couldn't yet. then finally he started saying that he was thinking of maybe getting engaged around christmas. it kind of scared me, knowing that in the past we have had our share of brake ups. and i was kinda scared of marrying the wrong person. you see so many people these days getting divorced and braking up their family. i want to be SURE. anyway it's been about 3 months since we have broken up and he came over about two days ago. now when we first broke up he kept calling me and coming over and i would tell him i need time to myself to just be Wendy. finally he stop calling for awhile and left me alone. well the other day when he came over i was happy to see him and it made me realize how much i missed him. i know that if we get together again its going to probably end in marriage. which i could see myself married to him and having children with him. i really do love him. so i guess what i really wanted to know is if it's normal to love someone and still think about being with other people? help....advice please!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2003
Wed, 01-28-2004 - 1:13pm
This is just my opinion...you are in no way ready to think about marriage.

When you stop thinking about other people, and realize that the guy your with is totally the only one for you, then I would consider it.

Sarah
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Wed, 01-28-2004 - 2:05pm
You know you love him, see yourself getting married, BUT you wonder about being in a relationship with other men...hmm, if you get involved with him again and end up married, the first time something goes wrong - communication, built up resentment, you will be back to wondering about other relationships.

I'd say you aren't quite ready for a long-term committed relationship. Counseling or pre-marital counseling (together) might address possible issues before they become real issues.


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2003
Wed, 01-28-2004 - 9:28pm
I believe a genuine reason to get married is because you've found someone that has made you stop looking. It sounds as though you've not found the right person and/or have not reached that point in your life and therefore are not ready to make such a permanent decision.