Alcoholic Boyfriend :o(

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2007
Alcoholic Boyfriend :o(
18
Wed, 11-21-2007 - 3:21pm

My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 yrs, and up until April of this year, he was a major pot smoker. He finally quit, but now, he has turned to alcohol. It has such an effect on me because he is extra moody now. The pot was one thing, him being happy and stuff. But the alcohol, I never know what side of him is going to come out. It's killing me to see this happening to him, and I know I can't do anything and that it's all up to him to change. But I can't help to retain some kind of hope that there IS something that I can do. He has given up all his friends because they are all stoners. Now, he hangs out with his loser neighbor who has no job, lives with his mom still and I swear I've never seen the guy drink anything but beer. I used to get mad at him when he would hang out with the neighbor, but I realize now that he's really the only guy that he ever hangs out with. So I'm stuck. He's not the sweet guy that he used to be before he started drinking heavily. All he ever wants to do it drink, and it takes such a toll on me, because I turn around and think to myself that it's my fault. I accuse myself of not being 'enough' for him not to need that crap. His addiction is making me so depressed. I just wish there was something I could do or say to him to change it all.....


Help me please.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 11-21-2007 - 11:13pm

Welcome to the board nichole86,


You've already been given good advice - Al-anon, working with a sponser, leaving to allow him to possibly see what he's losing, A&E show.


I'm just writing to also suggest you check out this other iVillage board:


Alcohol & Substance Abuse


We all know leaving isn't easy, but some times in the interest of self-preservation, it's a must.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 11-22-2007 - 9:06am

You're in major denial and I'm offended by your attitude.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2007
Fri, 11-23-2007 - 6:35am

'..I accuse myself of not being 'enough' for him not to need that crap'


Sigh. You are talking like a typical tee-totaler. 'That crap' you are referring to is,

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2007
Sat, 11-24-2007 - 2:56pm
I am not a teetotaler. I'll have a few drinks every now and then, but I don't do it every day, or on a regular basis. I have nothing against alcohol, I just hate the abuse. But I would honestly like to say thank you for your definition of "that crap." It really helped me to understand it better, I have never thought of it in that way. I think what I do also is compare him to myself, which I know is completely unfair. I have an alcoholic father and step mom
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2002
Sat, 11-24-2007 - 6:15pm

Hi, I'm one of the regulars on the Alcohol & Substance Abuse message board and I just wanted to say after reading through this entire thread, you sound exactly like me 4 1/2 years ago.


 


"OMG, I got engaged, the world will never be the same!...."


&nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2004
Sun, 11-25-2007 - 11:52am

<< I have an alcoholic father and step mom

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2007
Sun, 11-25-2007 - 5:35pm
Yes I am more than willing to go to Al-anon & Co-Da, I just don't know where to go..
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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2004
Sun, 11-25-2007 - 10:58pm

That is excellent news that you are willing to go.

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