Alone and Hurt
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Alone and Hurt
| Wed, 08-18-2004 - 4:42pm |
I do not know what to do, I have been married for eight months and it has been a week since I have found out that my husband was having an affain with a coworker. I had warned him since I found out they were talking on the phone a lot that even though he did not see anything wrong with it, that it could eventually turn in to something- which it did. I now found out that she text him and that she is moving this Friday. These two things are big, because they supposebly stoped having contact with eachother, and obviously they have not. I do not know if I should call her and confront her about the whole thing, what do you think?
Well, her last day is Friday and though that makes me happy, I still do not know what to do with husband. He has told me so many hurtful things and its not like he is acting like he is sorry, he acts more annoyed that I keep talking about the same thing, since it has been almost three months since we have begun to fight and the suspicions. Well anyhow, I am debating if I should leave or not, I feel I am getting sick from this whole situation, there is not one day that I feel ok, I cry all the time and I feel completly empty. After talking to him today and expressing myself for the millionth time, he told me that he is fed up with everything and that he knows for sure he was not ready to marry (he's 24)..that I drive him nuts and that he is better off with out me..well I was at work and I started crying like crazy, mind you it was at work I found out a week ago that he was having an affair, so already I feel bad for bringing my problems here, but I can;t seem to get away from this empty and hollow feeling. That is why I am really considering moving back to my country, I just don't know how much more I can take of this harsh and cold treatment. He has told me things that he had never told me before, like that I had not been there for hi the way that he had for me, and that he always had to do things my way and he was never able to do what he wanted...well I would have appreciated if he told me this before we got married so we could have worked on it before, though I am not even sure if he is just using it as an excuse..anyway, I am so confused, because even though I am the one who has been betrayed, he acts like he has been, instead of him calling and trying to work things out I am the one who is calling him, and as he says "bugging him and driving him crazy, because I am crazy..
Gosh..I just want to scream, I do not know what to do because I love him so much and I can;t imagine that this is the end.
After we talked in the morning he called me and told me that taling about it does us no good, and that we should try getting our mind off things..by doing things we both like to do together- though that sounds great, why couldn't he say that before, instead of all those hurtful things he told me.
I just do not know him anymore..I am even insecure about myself and I feel horrible, and its been too long that I have been feeling this way. I told him I am staying at my parents until I leave in two weeks...I sound like I made up my mind, but all I wish was that he really would regreat it, tell me that he loves me and only me, and for me to actually believe it, so we could move on with our lives, but I can't believe him- he hasn't stopped me and I just think I am pushed to leave...yeah part of me wants to, and part of me would like to work things out...
Ok enough of me rambling, any advice would be appreciated..
Thanks..
Tearyangel
Well, her last day is Friday and though that makes me happy, I still do not know what to do with husband. He has told me so many hurtful things and its not like he is acting like he is sorry, he acts more annoyed that I keep talking about the same thing, since it has been almost three months since we have begun to fight and the suspicions. Well anyhow, I am debating if I should leave or not, I feel I am getting sick from this whole situation, there is not one day that I feel ok, I cry all the time and I feel completly empty. After talking to him today and expressing myself for the millionth time, he told me that he is fed up with everything and that he knows for sure he was not ready to marry (he's 24)..that I drive him nuts and that he is better off with out me..well I was at work and I started crying like crazy, mind you it was at work I found out a week ago that he was having an affair, so already I feel bad for bringing my problems here, but I can;t seem to get away from this empty and hollow feeling. That is why I am really considering moving back to my country, I just don't know how much more I can take of this harsh and cold treatment. He has told me things that he had never told me before, like that I had not been there for hi the way that he had for me, and that he always had to do things my way and he was never able to do what he wanted...well I would have appreciated if he told me this before we got married so we could have worked on it before, though I am not even sure if he is just using it as an excuse..anyway, I am so confused, because even though I am the one who has been betrayed, he acts like he has been, instead of him calling and trying to work things out I am the one who is calling him, and as he says "bugging him and driving him crazy, because I am crazy..
Gosh..I just want to scream, I do not know what to do because I love him so much and I can;t imagine that this is the end.
After we talked in the morning he called me and told me that taling about it does us no good, and that we should try getting our mind off things..by doing things we both like to do together- though that sounds great, why couldn't he say that before, instead of all those hurtful things he told me.
I just do not know him anymore..I am even insecure about myself and I feel horrible, and its been too long that I have been feeling this way. I told him I am staying at my parents until I leave in two weeks...I sound like I made up my mind, but all I wish was that he really would regreat it, tell me that he loves me and only me, and for me to actually believe it, so we could move on with our lives, but I can't believe him- he hasn't stopped me and I just think I am pushed to leave...yeah part of me wants to, and part of me would like to work things out...
Ok enough of me rambling, any advice would be appreciated..
Thanks..
Tearyangel

Hun you really have to leave. This man is not right for you at all! Anyone who treats you that way is not worth your time. Stop thinking about what it would be like without him there, and just leave. You'll be crying a lot, and my need days off work, but sounds like in the long run you'll be so much better. You will find someone who doesnt go off and cheat on you. Its not right that he's treating you this way. If he truly loved you, he would not sneak off with another woman. You should definatly confront the other girl, incase she thinks that she is the only one. "he hasn't stopped me and I just think I am pushed to leave...yeah part of me wants to, and part of me would like to work things out... " Once a cheater - always a cheater. Do yourself a favor and go find someone else. I understand that it will hurt, and you love him a lot, but he obviously doesnt love you as much as you love him. I think you know deep down what to do, you just have to get past the thought of him changing and it getting better. Sorry to say but i think it wont get better if you stay with a man who treats you like this. "He has told me things that he had never told me before, like that I had not been there for hi the way that he had for me, and that he always had to do things my way and he was never able to do what he wanted..." have you read what you wrote? Pardon my language but this guy is a dick. He's putting you down to make himself feel better. Get rid of him hunny, you'll be better without him. Remember, don't settle with people who are okay...settle with the best. Good luck, im rootin for you!
Consider posting on the Betrayed Spouse Support board as they have been through this and can give lots of advice.
Carrie