ALWAYS THE BLAME

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2004
ALWAYS THE BLAME
1
Sat, 07-10-2004 - 11:05pm
I live with my boyfriend and I have a tendecy to ask questions in depth, but my gut always thinks that it is because I don't trust him, but I do. I like to be aware of any and everything,but these questions are causing us to pull away from one another and I don't want that. I am confused. Should I not ask the questions and keep peace in the home, but drive myself nuts or keep inquiring and causing arguments that are pointless?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2004
Sat, 07-10-2004 - 11:48pm
Even if you mean well, your boyfriend may feel he is being interrogated. Try having a conversation where you give information, in the form of interesting facts, how your day went, etc, in a way that he can respond in like. Asking questions sometimes seems like a habit that is hard to stop - before you can stop yourself, it has already slipped your tongue. Practise not asking any questions for a good period to break this pattern. You will start to see a different way to communicate. Might feel very quiet at first but you will adjust. The need to be aware of anything and everything just isn't realistic. Some things you can learn from simply observing without making comments or asking questions. Your boyfriend needs the right to his private thoughts and ideas till he is ready to share them. Just like he hopefully allows you space to think.