Always so predictable... help!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2006
Always so predictable... help!!
5
Mon, 06-02-2008 - 4:59pm

Me and my fiancé are together for 3 years, we live together for 10 months now and we plan to marry by the end of this year.


The question is with the sex part. In the beginning it was terrific, but now is boooooring. I feel desire for him, but I feel blocked. I don´t want to do it most of the times. Also because he always starts the same way, always in the bed, booooring. I feel I need him to surprise me, to do something different! For example, he asks for us to take a shower together, but I would prefer if one day I arrive home and have a bubble bath prepared by him for us. I told him all of this and his answer is that he also wants those things from me. So, because no one does it, things stay the same... the last time we spoke I asked him to please surprise me because I´m a woman,

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2008
Mon, 06-02-2008 - 6:08pm

Why not start the ball rolling with doing something totally spontaneous yourself?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Wed, 06-04-2008 - 11:37am

Welcome to the board catita_girl,


I think you should take matters into your own hands and surprise him. Meet him at the door some day all dressed up in a sexy little outfit or make a bubble bath with candles lit, etc. I think once you make the effort to try something new than he will also. Have fun with it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 06-04-2008 - 1:40pm

Welcome to the board catita_girl,


::Do you think I should take some initiative and surprise him myself?


Yes, and if you need ideas consider these:


Mars and Venus in the Bedroom, by John Gray (read it together it will give him ideas too)


Make Him Moan


Let's Talk about Sex


Another good book is Five Love Languages, by Gary Champan - it's more about knowing each other's language so you can show love in that way.



iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Fri, 06-06-2008 - 4:16pm

I have no idea why you're having such a hard time with the idea of getting the ball rolling yourself.

Myspace Codes

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2008
Sun, 06-08-2008 - 11:03am

Catita girl,

You've got to be the change, before change takes place outside you.
So, initiate something really extreme, and see how he reacts!
Some times our family and upbringing do not let us feel free and be ourselves !
Maybe your guy will truly open up, and transform himself completely !

It's worth trying, since he's steady, reliable, caring. These are the qualities hard to find. The passion part comes and goes.