Am I Being Jealous?
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| Wed, 06-09-2004 - 9:11am |
Ok. Lets get one thing straight first off. I am not a jealous person nor have I ever been jealous. I've always had enough self cofidence that I've just never been jealous! But I've been having a bit of an issue with my current relationship. I've been with my boyfriend steadily for about 4 months now. We've known eachother for much longer but only recently started dating. He has his own circle of friends, as do I. We also have a mutual circle of friends. His best friend is a great guy and I really like him. My problem is that I always feel like I'm somewhat on the back burner when it comes to my BF's bestfriend. In otherwords...he is number one and I am second best. I know how stupid and highschoolish this sounds...believe me! I just can't stop feeling this way. When we first started dating....it was always double dates with his bestfriend and his girlfriend. Ever since then...I cringe every time we are going to hang out with him. Then once we are with them...I eventually forget about it.
I don't want to talk about it with my boyfriend because even I know how illogical I am being. This is a "me" issue that somehow I have to get over.
Any advice????

Don't categorize it as a 'me' issue if it affects your relationship. Talk to him about wanting to spend more time alone.
If their friendship is realy old he might not even notice that you two don't get to spend a lot of time together. Hanging out with his friend is just second nature to him and he probably doesn't even think about it.
Also, this might actually be a compliment to you. Some girls complain they never get to meet their bf's friends and this guy obviously isn't ashamed/embarrased/annoyed to bring you along and include you in his activities with his closest friend. He probably got too comfortable with the situation and wants to have his cake and eat it too.
Just mention how nice it would be to have some more alone time with him. Plan some dates that only the two of you could do. good luck.
My bf and I had a bit of a rocky start in our relationship. We tried going out before but he was stressed with school and he just couldn't juggle everything so we stopped going out...like he changed his mind and few times. I guess I'm a little hesitant to say anything cause I'm a little nervous that he could get ultra defensive - thats if I mention his friend -- and break things off. Geez...I'm not usually this paranoid. Its just that I haven't been in a relationship this good before. We were such good friends to begin with -- there really isn't anything better than going out with a friend. He already knew so much about me...we had more of a chance to explore a completely different part of out relationship. I know that I can talk to him about anything and everything. But for some reason...this makes me nervous. I just don't want our relationship to change too drastically. I just want his friend to back off a little -- like let me kiss my bf goodnight without standing there!!