AM I ILL OR IS IT JUST MY RELATIONSHIP?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2006
AM I ILL OR IS IT JUST MY RELATIONSHIP?
8
Mon, 07-16-2007 - 10:15am

DEAR WHOEVER CAN HELP SAVE MY RELATIONSHIP...

My life is like a dramatic romance. i was so young and he was...well...young at heart.... he swept me off my feet and did everything he could to make me wish things would never end. Somehow i noticed things were starting to change... i caught him lieing to me, he likes things his way all the time, he's not sweet to me anymore. where is this man that made me laugh? who made me smile? please help me understand why i feel so depressed about this... i am a gemini... everything it says about me is true... i cannot get tied down unless i want to but i am a soft hearted and harmonial creature. i dont noe what to do now that we have a baby girl together.... he is a leo, he thinks hes king and always in charge. if he is so in charge then why does he need me there? in bed i feel like im being used because he is the only one who wants to get pleasure... he doesnt care if i get it... when i asked why hasnt he been sweet to me in a while ... he replies " because i already have u, so whats the reason to impress u." well the reason is becasue i fell in love with the person who was sweet and romantic... not his jerk who doesnt give a (bleep) about anything but himself. am i just ill ... like depression ill as in theres something wrong my hormones?... or is it time to say goodbye?

please help me!!!

shereena

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Mon, 07-16-2007 - 10:25am

It's time to say goodbye.

He's right, he doesn't feel like he has to impress you anymore. The person you met and fell in love with was a first impression, not a real person. He put up a facade to win you over and now his true colors are showing.

Stay with him, and it's his victory. He gets to act like a jerk and he knows that you'll stay because he made you fall in love with him. Don't let him win this, you are a better person than to stay with someone who considers you his property that he bought with false advertising.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2006
Mon, 07-16-2007 - 10:33am

thank u so much... ur reply made me shake in tears... i think i do need to find someone who will be willing to make our future and life a true happy ending... not some boring lifeless death waiting to be taken. im sure all i need is a push to start over... but what about my daughter? how can i manage? he's the type to pry what he wants from the helpless... he has his ways.... how can i defend my title as a mother and not have my daughter taken away due to a closing relationship? i always thougth i had the streangth to change him... u can take the man out of the hate but not the hate out of the man...
that i finally realized after 5 wasted years...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Mon, 07-16-2007 - 11:21am
Your worth as a mother is not based on a man, it's your connection with your daughter. No matter what your relationship is with her father, she will see you for who you truly are. Kids are very perceptive.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2006
Mon, 07-16-2007 - 11:28am
that is so true... i dont noe how i can put this. i grew up in a family with no father figure whatsoever. it was horrible. i basicly had to teach myself discipline and reality. id do what it takes to teach my child that u dont need a man to live ur life for u just like the mistake i did. but how should i come about this?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Mon, 07-16-2007 - 1:23pm
You need counseling to improve your self esteem and an attorney to help you secure custody.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 07-16-2007 - 1:39pm

I couldn't agree more the the previous poster who said you need to seek out counselling and an attorney. If you are worried about his reaction, please do this secretly and do not tell him. Get your case together before you give him any suspicions.

I grew up w/o a father figure in my life and I know that it can be done. Not everyone in this situation needs to find "discipline & reality" on their own. My mother was both parents to me and she worked 2 jobs to support us. It was the respect and pride I have for her hard work that kept me driven to succeed and become the person I am today.

Good luck,
Dee

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2006
Tue, 07-17-2007 - 12:20am
TOTALLY!!! I'LL REALLY CONSIDER THAT!!! whatever it takes to help me with this relationship closure...
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2006
Tue, 07-17-2007 - 12:25am

thanks dee...

this is the first time i have talked about this trouble. it feels so much better then keeping everything inside. thank u so much all of u. im gonna see what information i can gather on the internet that can help me out. with love. shereena

ps.... hey jerks!...treat ya girl right... if u dont they'll find someone else who will!!!