Am I insecure?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Am I insecure?
Mon, 06-02-2003 - 4:32pm
I'm dating a man I met at church. My problem is as follows:

There's an attractive lady that attends our church, I can tell that the guy I'm dating finds her attractive. I've noticed he checks her out a few times during service. Quick glances. I think she is interested in him because of the smiles and looks she give him. It seems like my guy lights up like a light bulb when she walks into a room. He doesn't know that I've been observing this.

Even though he's dating me, I feel like he's going to dump me if there's a chance he can her. We have established a nice dating relationship, but not committed. I find myself extremely jealous of the lady, because she's a threat to my relationship.

When dating it's normal to find other people attractive. I do. At what point does your mate/date attraction to another concern you? Do you feel like you're going to be dumped if your mate/date is very attracted to someone in your inner circle and the attraction is mutual....For example, work, group, church, etc. Am I insecure or have every right to be concerned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
In reply to: heavenly36
Mon, 06-02-2003 - 4:40pm
I think you need to have a conversation and define your relationship first. Have you done this? Have you agreed not to see other people?

I agree that it is rude, regardless of your relationship status, to obviously smile and look at other women if he is attending church with you. What about just telling how you feel?