Am I mean? Repost.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2004
Am I mean? Repost.
2
Mon, 07-05-2004 - 11:24pm


My husband really dislikes the supervisors and many of the people at work. He thinks they make bad decisions. He does not dislike the job, just most of the people there. I have told him on many occassions that I will support him if at any time he wants to leave. He has chosen to stay. He has a great schedule, a four day work week, no stress to speak of and good pay and benefits. My husband can be very hot headed. Sometimes when he gets angry all reason goes out the window. We moved recently and my husband decided he did not want to give his supervisor our phone number. He said it was because he didn't want them calling our house on his days off to work overtime. I did and do not believe that is the real reason. I know him. He just wanted to be difficult because of his dislike for them. A couple of months ago, I told him that it was important to me that the office have our phone number in case of emergency and that I thought he was wrong for not giving it to them. He did not give not give it to them. So, day before yesterday we was suspended for a day and given a written notice of insubordination which he totally deserved. I was furious. I thought he was petty and childish and I let him know in no uncertain terms. I told him that I believe he had no good reason to do that other than to be nasty. I also said that my daughter and I need to be able to count on him. I told him that I thought he was purposely being a jerk to the people at work and that it was unfair to me that I should have to worry that he will lose his job for a reason like that. I also told him that if he were ever fired for something like that I would lose respect for him and it could potentially change the way I feel about him. For me, it would be humiliating. I have a lot of pride and a strong work ethic. You can tell that I am still very angry. He ended up going back to work, apologizing and giving them our number which I am sure was very difficult for him. He is his own worst enemy sometimes.

Most of the time I am so clear. Today I am not. My husband agreed that he thought I was right from the beginning and that what he did was wrong. But now he is crushed that I told him my feelings could at some point change if he lost his job for a ridiculous reason. He thinks that I should always love him love him no matter what.

Was I too harsh? I meant what I said.


C



iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Tue, 07-06-2004 - 8:11am
Punky, I think you were correct. It took someone like you to get through to you husband. I have worked with people like him and sometimes have been that way myself. I think it is about power, people don't like to be told what to do. Being a pain is your husband way of putting himself above those who supervise him and thus taking away their power, in his mind. It makes them difficult employees to work with, I have rairly seen one really change. Best wishes
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2004
Tue, 07-06-2004 - 10:22am
Thank you for replying. Your input is appreciated.

C