Am I Normal?

Avatar for gracieray
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Am I Normal?
3
Mon, 06-14-2004 - 3:24pm
My fiance of 6 months and I set a date for our wedding last month for April of next year. Now, he is saying that he has cold feet about our date. He wants to postpone our wedding and work more on our relationship. He has a few annoyances of me, like saying me saying "airheaded" things sometimes and being a little silly at times. We've dated off and on for 3 years. My mom is very upset with the situation. She wants me to call off the wedding period. I love this guy and don't want him to feel rushed to marry me. I know that our relationship isn't perfect, bue who's is? Should I give him some more time or should I agree with my mom who thinks either you want to get married to someone or you don't?

Help! Any thoughts?

Gracieray

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2003
In reply to: gracieray
Mon, 06-14-2004 - 5:37pm
You need to do what feels right to you...and it seems like you are OK with giving him some space and not making him rush. I have never been married, but lately I have been thinking how much does that little piece of paper mean, anyway? Your love for him shouldn't change whether you are married or not. Maybe he just wants things to be really great so this is a great moment for both of you! I would keep him around....he'll appreciate you giving him some time, within reason, of course :)

Pam
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: gracieray
Mon, 06-14-2004 - 6:05pm
I would give him more time, but only on the condition that the two of you attend pre-marital couples counseling for at least 3-6 months to work through the issues, rather than just "working on" your relationship in the abstract.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
In reply to: gracieray
Mon, 06-14-2004 - 6:42pm
I agree with the last poster. I would give him time, but really make him get concrete about the issues he has with you, and go to a counselor together, definitely. If he doesn't come to terms with whatever problems he has with you now, you can bet they will be far worse once you ARE married. If he has misgivings, they should really be worked out BEFORE the you two walk down the aisle. If he can't figure things out within a given amount of time, then you might want to move on with your life. Personally, it sounds like his reasons for wanting to wait (you saying things that are "airheaded", for example) are a little lame. That doesn't sound like a big deal to me. We all say "airheaded" things every now and then. Maybe he's looking for excuses.

Keep us posted!

toriphile322