Am I over reacting?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
Am I over reacting?
6
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 4:03pm
When I visited my boyfriend's new office space a few months ago, I noticed that he didn't have any pictures of us up. So, I joked around with him asking why he doesn't have my picture up. He says that he doesn't have any pictures up except his goats and a baseball diamond he took. And since then I never questioned him about it until yesterday when I got to his office and noticed that he has a picture of his twin sister holding a little animal up on his wall. Again I asked him why he doesn't have my picture up and he was about to give me the same answer as before, until he noticed that he had his sister's picture up. Then he just freaked out and said that I am just always jealous of his sister and even asked if I wanted his sister to be dead. Honestly, I was just wanting to know why he never thought of putting a picture of me up there - which he eventually stated that he was just lazy. (It really hurt my feelings) It was just a simple question. He also tore up the picture of his sister in front of me asking me if this is what I wanted. After we calmed down, he apologized numerous times and says he loves me continuously and that I should never question his love for me. And even said he was going to put my picture up. But, I think the damage is done. I told him that I don't want any of my pictures up now because now it doesn't mean anything to me. So, my main questions are: "Did I over-react? And should I wonder about where I am in this relationship? And should I just get over it?"

FYI- We have been together for 2 1/2 years and currently live together.


Edited 8/16/2004 4:05 pm ET ET by m_ayn
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
In reply to: m_ayn
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 4:18pm
Did you overreact? No.

But he sure did.....tearing up her picture, asking you if you wanted her dead.

Is this normal behavior for him? Or is there something you aren't telling us?


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
In reply to: m_ayn
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 4:26pm
He has a tendency to over-react at certain moments...but then calms down and thinks through what he has done. It was just really weird. I think he went too far at one point. He just thinks that I am overly jealous of his twin sister. It has been an issue once before.

He has moments when he just get so proud of his sister. Telling me that she is a great person and that she treats people so well. Then she just got into real estate and then he said that she will do so great in that profession cause she is a people-person. He is a very proud twin brother.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
In reply to: m_ayn
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 5:04pm
This is bizarre. He sounds very immature and what is the story with the goats?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
In reply to: m_ayn
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 5:07pm
His family raises goats...so it is just a picture he took when he was visiting.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2004
In reply to: m_ayn
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 8:01pm
In a word, yes, you over reacted.

First off, I think the "twin thing" is very unique and special. I would not try and make waves there.

Second, I get the impression that he chooses pictures of things he doesn't see every day. Since you live with him, he sees you everyday.

Third, some people like to keep some aspects of their romantic lives separate from their work/professional lives.

Disclaimer: I'd be shocked if my SO of 9 years ever put a pic of me on his desk at work. Vice versa too. We just are not like that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
In reply to: m_ayn
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 8:29am
i agree with you. some people are very private about their home life at work. sometimes, i wish more people would be.