Am I over-reacting?
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| Fri, 05-04-2007 - 10:35am |
Dr Shoshanna
Recently I moved to another state to move in with my boyfriend. Recently, we had a huge discussion regarding an incident where I felt like he doesn't respect my feelings. This may not be the case but when I asked him about it and told him how I felt, he got very defensive.
Prior to me moving in, he used to go out often with his guy friends on Thursdays. They all met closer to where his friends live and was about an hour and a quarter drive for him. This week he told he he was going out with them but also indicated he was going to spend the night out there since the drive was too long to come home. I have only been here for 1.5 weeks now and I know noone here. I have no issues with him going out with his friends but to me considering they were just going out to dinner and there was no occasion, couldn't they meet halfway perhaps and then it would be closer for him to come home. Maybe I am old fashioned, but to me staying the night out just cause it would be too late when you are done having dinner with your friends seemed a bit inconsiderate to me and really hurt my feelings. We have been good friends for eight years now and dating for almost two years.
I tried to explain how I felt to him and he got defensive and asked me if I preferred if he drove home tired and crash the car. Ofcourse that was not my intention, but considering he had the option to meet closer to home for dinner and didnt consider it as an option, made me feel as though my feelings didn't count and he was not willing to consider how I felt.
I appreciate any feedback...I am so confused.

Welcome to the board gal_soinlove,
I agree with your bf. I wouldn't want him to drive all that way back home tired and risk him falling asleep behind the wheel. Their plans might have already been made for the week and it could have been too late to cancel them. In the future, though, I would think he should be willing to meet them in the middle so his drive isn't so far. And if they are good friends, they could be accepting of this.
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