Am I overreacting?
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| Tue, 07-24-2007 - 8:18am |
Soo, Where to begin.. Yesterday was my boyfriend and my 1 year anniversary.. (yay!) So I went out and got a card for him. We went out to dinner, and he decided that he wanted to wait until later to open his card.. That's fine.. Well he read his card, and said to me "aww. I feel the same way." My heart sank... This man is the love of my life, and it just hurts that he can't find the time to get me a card or even write me a nice note or anything.
This isn't the first time.. Valentine's Day, We got a very big snow storm.. So I stayed home.. I had printed out the lyrics to "At Last" by Etta James, and I put that into a picture frame with a picture of us above it.. I also hand-made him a card.. He worked all day, and didn't come home with anything. No Card, no flowers.. Nothing.. I don't ask for much.. Just some nice gestures every once and a while..
When we first started dating (We used to work at the same place) he would leave me little notes, pretty much on a daily basis. Or just text me to tell me that he loves me, and how much I mean to him.. Now that we're living together, those spontaneous little notes are a thing of the past... I guess..
He says that he spaced on getting me a card, and thought that just by taking me out to dinner, that that would be enough.. Well it would be.. But I just keep on holding out hope that he might just get me a card...
So my final question.. Am I just overreacting, and blowing this out of proportion.. I love him too much to stay mad at him.. But I find it hard to see how he couldn't take 5 minutes out of his day and get me a card..

Well, I think it's safe to say that love notes and flowers for no reason often become a thing of the past when you've been with someone long enough to feel you don't need to impress her anymore. Ah well.
You know, my guy was never much of a card-giver himself, until I told him that I think the card is the most important part of gift-giving and that I usually save them. Now I'll get a card with every gift-giving occasion. My point is that he wouldn't have known if I didn't tell him pretty flatly that I expected a card, which you're right is not a lot to ask. But you really do have to ask for it. "Hey honey, you know I really do appreciate dinner and I had a great time with you, do you think maybe next time you could get me a card or a little something to remember the occasion by? It would mean a lot to me."
If your guy really loves you he'll jump at the chance to make you happy - when he knows what will make you happy.
Fieryfairy2006 - does he know that you EXPECT a card?
I'm curious--would you have been ok with it if he'd gotten you a card but not taken you out to dinner?
Seems to me that's a pretty nice thing to do (the dinner) so I hope you showed your appreciation rather than just making him feel bad for not getting you a card.
But in any event, telling him that you would like him to do some of the things he used to do would be a good idea--be specific.
Sheri
>>until I told him that I think the card is the most important part of gift-giving and that I usually save them.<<
Where as I think cards are a waste of money. My gifts are lucky to get wrapped.....let alone given with a card.
Fiery Fairy, my point is that there is no right or wrong here. Cards are important to some people and not to others. If my husband made an issue about needing a card, I'd probably remember....but he WOULD need to say something to me.
Regarding anniversaries, I have a lot of trouble remembering our anniversary. And it's even on a holiday, so I really have no excuse. But I still forget. We sometimes go out for dinner on our anniversary, but have never exchanged cards or gifts.
I wonder if women like me who don't appreciate cards and who aren't interested in Valentines Day ruin men for all those romantic souls out there LOL