Am I overreacting?
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| Sun, 04-15-2007 - 11:38pm |
Hi everyone,
Here's my story: I've been with my boyfriend for a little over a year (with a 4 month breakup in between). Since we got back together it has been amazing. He has been attentive, sweet, romantic, etc. We broke up for 4 months because he was great in the beginning, but then seemed distant. He put his friends above me, and was not attentive at all. I don't need to be the center of attention but I do want to feel special! So we broke up. It was extremely painful for me. He pursued me again, and it's been great now. But now I feel like things are going back the way they used to be. I don't feel important. He has all of his friends, his family, his life. I feel as though sometimes I am on the backburner. I don't know if it is my fear about things going back to the way they used to be, or my insecurities. I just feel as though I put him first in all aspects of my life, and it's not always returned. I know he loves me and cares, but I wish he'd put my 1st (actually 2nd...his fam comes first, and it should be that way). But sometimes I feel as though he doesn't. Actually most of the time I feel he doesn't. And I wonder to myself...is he happy? Does he really love me? Is this a typical guy thing? He talked about getting engaged when we got back together and he'd text me and call me a few times a day...and that's definitely died down. And he has stopped talking about getting engaged. Also, he doesn't seem to be interested in getting intimate lately. Not that sex is THAT important (we have never done it that often, maybe once a month), but I am starting to think he is not attracted to me anymore. I don't know if I am overreacting and it's just because he is more comfortable in the relationship. But if he loved me, wouldn't he want to see me more? Spend more time with me alone, etc?
This insecurity is eating me alive. I feel as though i am being pathetic and needy, but I just have a gut feeling that something isnt right. So I don't know what to do. I'm too proud to tell him how I am feeling, so I don't know what to do to rectify this situation. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!
Thanks,
M
Edited 4/15/2007 11:58 pm ET by mpiece1982

Hello,
First of all, I want to say that I don't think you are overreacting.
Second, if you are unhappy, you must communicate that to your boyfriend. If you do not tell him, he is never going to know. As far as he is probably concerened, things are going OK because he has no idea that you are unhappy with the present situation. Communication is very important in a relationship. Maybe he is trying to make everyone in his life happy and he just doesn't realize that he is stretched a little thin. It doesn't mean that he doesn't love you or doesn't want to get engaged to you in the future, it just means that he has a different view than you do. The only way to resolve this is to talk to each other about your expectations. It shouldn't be about being too proud to communicate with your boyfriend. It may be hard for you to talk to him but he is not a mind reader and he can't fix something he doesn't know is broken. Have a little heart to heart to him and just tell him how you feel, exactly what you posted here.
Good luck to you!