Am I selling myself short???????

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2004
Am I selling myself short???????
1
Sun, 03-07-2004 - 11:34pm
I'm dating a guy who has just been divorced and has 2 young kids and 2 full time jobs to devote his time to--where I on the other hand am just a single 23 year old with all the time in the world..it was obvious to me it wouldn't work. Regardless, I allowed myself to develop feelings for him since we saw each other everyday and he was so sweet and attentive. We eventually did the "I love u" thing but ever since then, I feel like things have changed and he feels like he doesn't need to make an effort anymore. In the beginning, everyday he would leave his evening job to hang out w/ me for a few hours..after about a week the visits decreased and everyday became every other day, then it became every 2 days. This past 3 weeks, I've only seen him 4 times, yet he managed to go out of town w/ his kids his family these past 2 weekends. He tells me he's been getting backed up w/ work and that's why he hasn't been coming over as much, and he says that it doesn't mean he loves me less or he doesn't miss me. I don't think there's another girl in the picture (when would he find time?)and cuz' he calls me anytime he gets a break from work. But lately I've just been feeling so frustrated cuz' I miss him all the time and I wanna' do stuff "couples stuff", but he's always so busy and when he has free time, he needs to catch up on sleep. I told him I understand that his kids, work, and family come before me, but i need to feel like a priority too. Lately he said he's tired of talking about it and doesn't want to deal w/ it, that I just need to accept it. Is it so much to ask that he MAKE PLANS to be with me, not just drop by when he can? Lately he hasn't even givin' me a chance to talk about my feelings, he either just hangs up the phone or leaves my house, and the next day he expects things to carry on as normal. Sometimes I think that maybe I'm just being too needy...is there another way to handle this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Mon, 03-08-2004 - 4:56am

i think there are two issues you are not getting here.


first - yo usay he just got divorced. which probably means he not looking to rush into some big love-relationship right now, but just to "be" with someone.


second - although you say