Am I Unnattractive?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2003
Am I Unnattractive?
4
Thu, 01-08-2004 - 11:01pm
I really need some help at this point! My b/f has been very neglegtful to me lately...Sexually mostly . It seems as though he has no interest anymore. He is not old(33) But he is making me feel so low, so unattractive..I have tried to tell him how I feel but he totally disregards my feelings...Could he be cheating? It is weird b/c up until appprox. a month ago it was perfect & now it is like he really makes me feel as If he does not care. He is very distant & tells me to do whatever I want! Please Help!


Edited 1/8/2004 11:05:43 PM ET by planetsx
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
Fri, 01-09-2004 - 4:43am
This has nothing to do with you being unnattractive - I'm sure you know this if you are honest with yourself. Sounds like something is amiss in your relationship - if your boyfriend is not willing to discuss it and generally acts like he doesn't care - I'd end it and move on - life's too short.

Peace - Pebbles

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 01-09-2004 - 11:15am

Clearly, something is going on here, you cannot be certain what. But if he tells you to do what you want, it sounds to me as though he may be trying to get out of the relationship. Some men do not have the courage to be honest and up front about what's going on with them and so withdraw or behave in other negative ways to get the woman to be the one to break up. Unless he is honest with you, you can't know what caused these turn of events. But, you can know that there is never a reason to remain in a situation which is hurtful to you. In a good relationship both parties talk out their differences, and what is generall going on. Then they arrive at solutions together. His response to you in disrespectful and shows an unwillingness to explore what's happening here.


You can try one more time to find out what's happening, and if he is not forthcoming, then just make a decision based upon what is right and healthy for you. There is no reason to accept abuse in any form.


Best wishes,

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2004
Fri, 01-09-2004 - 12:21pm
How long have you two been together?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Fri, 01-09-2004 - 12:53pm
How long have the two of you been together? Are there other things going in the relationship? Like fighting? How about things with him - stress at work or with family? Stress/depression can cause havoc on libido.

You've told him how you feel, but how have you approached him? The approach can make the world of difference, like -

1) why don't we have sex lately? I feel you don't want me.

2) Hey, I read somewhere that when there are problems in a relationship, it's reflected in the bedroom, so since I still want you sexually, I'm wonder if we have a problem that you haven't shared with me yet?

3) Throw your arms around him and tell him how much you appeciate all his hard work (for so-n-so - something specific to your relationship) and you mean the world to me.

4) Throw your arms around him and kiss him deeply, dropping your hand lower and lower....if you get my drift. (Mars and Venus in the Bedroom talks about the differences between men and women in the bedroom - women want affection and words, men want action).

Anyway, it's not you. I hope you work through this.


Carrie