Am I unworthy?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2008
Am I unworthy?
5
Thu, 07-10-2008 - 3:23pm

Hi all,


I am new to the board.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Thu, 07-10-2008 - 3:42pm

Welcome to the board luv-the-beach,


Of course you deserve to be treated better than this. I am also taking it your problems with your husband go beyond this and this isn't the first time he has treated you poorly.


Things will never be able to change between the two of you until you are able to communicate with him about the problems.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 07-10-2008 - 5:40pm

Welcome to the board luv-the-beach,


No you aren't unworthy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Thu, 07-10-2008 - 6:33pm

Sorry about what happened, hope you are recovering well.

I doubt that your husband realized how insensitive his actions were to you. If you are having a tough time getting over it then let him know how you feel. But don't take this as a hit against you, your worthiness, or how he feels about you. He waited a long time for you to wake up and had a lot of time to think about other stuff. Most men do not need that kind of immediate emotional support after something like that. When my dad was waking up from cancer surgery all he wanted to do was make jokes or talk about baseball.

I think this is just a communication rift. Reading The Five Love Languages together could be really beneficial.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2008
Thu, 07-10-2008 - 8:37pm

This man has no clue to his inappropriateness...is he like this in other areas of his life?

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-11-2008 - 2:25pm

If you and your husband have this pattern of his not understanding your needs or being considerate of you, the two of you have to work on it. He needs help with communication, with his ability to listen and hear you and not take it personally. Rather than blame him for this, (which will only make things work), why not register together for a communications workshop, where couples have an opportunity to learn basic skills in building happy, healthy relationships. Tell him that it's very important to you that the two of you grow together. If you put it all in a positive manner, you'll have a much better chance.


Best wishes,