Am I Wrong for feeling INSECURE???

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Am I Wrong for feeling INSECURE???
14
Thu, 08-28-2008 - 3:13am

Hello,


I just have to put everything out on the table. My boyfriend and I been together for about 3 months now and we've been arguing every week for about a month now. I am a very understanding person. He has 3 children ages 15,13,8 and I would never try to come in between him and his children. To make this short, because it can take some time explaining this, I only can give you some episodes of things that happened. Please tell me if I'm wrong for being insecure at this point of the relationship? This is the man that says he loves me.


1. I haven't met his mother yet,his kids, or friends?


2. I don't have his home phone number yet?


3. His daughter was admitted in the hospital on July 15th for a broken hip and it's now August 28th.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2003
Thu, 08-28-2008 - 8:00am
He is married and cheating with you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Thu, 08-28-2008 - 8:51am

You can feel whatever you want, but you only had two good months of a relationship (if you can even call it that) and it's absolutely essential to look at the reasons WHY you have attached yourself to a guy you can't really get along with after such an amazingly short amount of time.

It sounds as though you have put commitment before compatibility, a fatal mistake. PLEASE read this book:
Are You The One For Me? by Barbara DeAngelis
It will help you to see what mistakes you're making in choosing men. I'm also convinced that he may still be married, in any instance he is leading a secretive life.

Consider that people show their absolute best side at about 3 months into a relationship. This is the best he has to offer you. Sad.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-1999
Thu, 08-28-2008 - 10:13am
No, you are not wrong to feel insecure. Everything you've listed here are all the classic signs that a man is married. You are being played by a liar and a cheater.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2007
Thu, 08-28-2008 - 10:51am

Well he could be married, seeing someone else, or at just three months it is not serious enough to introduce you to his children and family.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Thu, 08-28-2008 - 10:52am

No phone number?? Classic sign that he is married.


Even if he is single he should concentrate on his kids first and you shouldn't know them after only 3 months.


Walk away and find a guy that is single, honest and available.

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-28-2008 - 2:09pm

Anyone would feel insecure, but more than that, most people would not be in this relationship. How can you be with someone when you don't have his phone number, haven't met the people in his life and where he gives you stories that just don't compute??? You'd have to join him in a delusion to believe what's going on...It sounds as though he's lying a lot and you're going along with it because you care for him.


Feelings are one thing, facing reality is better. Face reality, make some realistic demands of him, get his phone number!! For all you know he's still married and playing with your life.


Best wishes,

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2008
Fri, 08-29-2008 - 2:23am

Z
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Fri, 08-29-2008 - 9:44am

Hi,


I've been reading all

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Fri, 08-29-2008 - 12:20pm

'His children I know will probably be a while. I will be patient for that. 3 months isn't a long time'


Why is he spending so much time with your kids?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2008
Fri, 08-29-2008 - 3:01pm

Z

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