Amberwaves & Stepcoupled PLEASE READ~
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Amberwaves & Stepcoupled PLEASE READ~
| Tue, 06-29-2004 - 9:53pm |
Girls~~Please proceed with caution...The man I married turned out to be Someone TOTALLY different than the one I dated. I was single for 7 yrs raising 3 son 17,15 and 13....PLEASE READ my POST ...go back to June 5th, under LIES, LIES and more LIES...I recieved great advice...I just got married last Oct and I was ready to move out by Christmas..but had to wait until end of Feb, because we rented out my house...BUT, PLEASE READ THAT POST TO SEE WHAT SOME OF THE THINGS HE DID TO MY BOYS AAND MYSELF. YOUR KIDS DON'T DESERVE IT THEY DIDN'T ASK FOR IT AND THEY DON'T NEED TO GO THROUGH IT...lET ME KNOW AFTER YOU GET DONE READING IT....Victoria

I'm going to my first counseling session tonight. I can't wait. I've been counting down the days. But I know she won't be able to fix anything or tell me what to do. It would be great if somebody could tell me if things are going to get better or not, but I know in my heart that they aren't. My son is my #1 priority and he always will be and I think my finace thinks that he should be #1 now. He says things like my son will only live with us for another 6 years and then we will have to be happy with each other so we should put each other first now. I really think he has control issues. He is very manipulative. He told me the other day that he was teaching his son how to manipulate people because if he is going to make it in this world he has to know how to get people do what he wants. That makes me feel like all my finace has been doing is manipulating me! I really liked the reply that you got from randa cole. It really hit home with me.
And he does little things like "mention" that if my son doesn't want to remember to turn the lights off maybe paying the electric bill will help him remember, and get defensive if I tell him that I went out for lunch with a co-worker (HE doesn't waste our money on going out to eat). All the while, I am paying all of the bills because he has to use his money for other things (like stuff for his aquarium or new tools). He doesn't mention how much electricity it takes to run the aquarium compared to leaving a light on!! Which he spent his entire tax refund on an aquarium while I spent my entire tax refund (4 times more than his) on paying bills (mostly his credit card bills). I've depleted my savings and maxed out my one and only credit card because I told him that I wanted to pay the bills after we moved in together because he never paid them on time. So now I pay all the bills but he doesn't give me any money. When I ask him for money he gets very angry and defensive. Three weeks ago when I told him I needed money to pay the bills, he took money out of his safe (that he had been hiding) and threw it at me.
Was your husband this way before you got married? Did he show any signs that you realize now were huge red flags? Everybody keeps telling me the same thing....get out now....don't marry him....but what happened to the charming, sweet guy I met two years ago? Was that just an act? I willingly gave up EVERYTHING for him because he was the man of my dreams. Now I feel like a fool.
Thanks for your help. I wish the best for you and your boys.