on and off and now moving away
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on and off and now moving away
| Fri, 01-23-2004 - 1:12pm |
here's the story: we were dating exclusively for 4 months. Half way through my b/friend lost his job contract, and that put a lot of pressure on him, on me and our relationship. He was becoming more and more distant, and I'm more upset and clingy.. anyhow, eventually he sent me an "awol" message saying that he needed to take a few weeks off to clear his head on a whole range of subjets, including personal relationships. I knew that was a breakup, but was still hopeful.. it was a very hard time for me.. after about 2 months of this separation, I saw his ad on an online dating service. I decided to contact him to see what was happening in his life. Don't know why I did that, I was not over him yet and was still probably hopeful or maybe just wanted an explanation and a clear-cut ending.. he replied that he was depressed over his job situation as it made him feel worthless and that he would want to be my friend, but rather not venture beyond as "I deserve better" and he would not want me to think that his interest was just sexual.. Eventually we met, after 3 moths apart. He was emotional, apologized, and said that he still had feelings for me, but could not commit and did not want to lead me on, would want to have a casual relationship.. a few days later we became intimate and did not talk about this anymore. In a meantime he had to go away for 2 weeks for a short contract and an interview, then he was back, and we were very happy like nothing ever happened, then he got a job offer and accepted it. It all happen so quick, in less than a month. Now he's leaving to another city miles away. I will see him tomorrow for the last time and then he goes.. I feel devastated, he does not talk about a future for us, just him.. though he said that he wanted me to visit him once he's settled and that he would be missing me.. I don't know what to do or say. Is this the end? What can I do or should I do? It hurts terribly, not knowing
All this time he was very attentive, caring, wanted to see me a lot, in other words, there were no regular signs of a breakup..
All this time he was very attentive, caring, wanted to see me a lot, in other words, there were no regular signs of a breakup..

That tells me that it means way more to you than to him and while you/he didn't break up, you still have the casual relationship you've always had and if you allow him to visit or visit him, then you are giving him permission to keep the relationship status quo.
What do you want? If you want more, he's already told you he's unable to give more. Sorry for your pain. My best to you.
Carrie