Anxiety and guilt over breaking up
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| Fri, 06-25-2004 - 8:05am |
However, I'm suffering severe guilt and anxiety when I think about breaking up with my boyfriend. I know it won't work, even without the re-entrance of my ex. I DO love my boyfriend, but more like a friend. He absolutely worships me. He thinks I'm the most beautiful, smartest, perfect woman alive. He was the first man I seriously dated after the heartbreak with my ex, and I allowed myself to fall in love very fast. We moved in together after one month. I fear he will be suicidal. I just have such a hard time thinking about hurting him so I can be happy with someone else. I would hope he could meet someone else, but I don't know. I know I should end it, but I don't know how to overcome this anxiety. It's making me sick to my stomach thinking of breaking his heart. Help!

Whats important, as selfish as it may or may not seem, is you and your happiness. If you are not happy, how can you ever expect to make someone else happy? If you current BF knew that you didnt love him like he did you and that you werent happy, would he want you to be with him??Probably not. So, you owe it to him to be honest.
The quicker you end things- or not too, whatever you ultimatley decide, you need to do it fast.
Best of luck,
You have to be direct and firm and not extend the relationship when he gets upset. You won't be doing him any favors by continuing to date him when you know it won't last. Tell him that the relationship isn't orking for you and there is nothing he can do to change your mind, that you need to leave. If I were you I wouldn't mention another guy.
The feelings that we feel are not caused by others. We allow ourselves to feel how we feel. YOU feel guilty. Stop! Your boyfriend will be fine, no matter what happens. Let him worry about himself. You worry about you. Selfish or not. Take care of you. If you are not happy. Leave. But don't think for one second that things will automatically be perfect or the way things were before with the ex. You have both changed. You have both met new people, done new things and dated others. That all makes a difference.
Take a breath and go slow. Good relationships take work.