anxiety disorder is driving him away
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anxiety disorder is driving him away
| Sun, 08-08-2004 - 12:48pm |
Any advice here would be appreciated. I've been diagnosed with anxiety disorder, am seeing therapist for CBT to treat (past 6 weeks), but my marriage is still falling apart. My husband feels I'm too controlling - I agree with him, that's part of my disorder, trying to control everything I can. I'm working on it, doing my best to let go of decisions and such, but he doesn't seem to recognize any changes. In fact, it seems like he's looking for the times when I slip into old habits, and then flies off the handle. He's been very distant, physically and emotionally, and has mentioned seperation twice now. This is, of course, putting me into complete freak out mode, and making it very hard to control my anxiety. What should I do? I feel so alone right now - I'm 200 miles plus from family, and just have casual friends. I've experienced bouts of depression before (including postpartum with 17-month old) and am afraid that I'm falling into another.

let me first say - i am very proud of you for recognizing you need help and for getting the help you need! its not easy - not admitting that we need help, and not actually GETTING help. you have a long way to go, but you are on the right track.
unfortunately, i can tell you from my own first hand experience - its VERY DIFFICULT to live with someone who is depressed. in my case - i was more than willing to support my then-husband, to stand by him, IF he would get help, but he refused to even admit that he had a problem. I can't tell you "what will be in the future" , but i do think that YOU have to HEAL first, before you can deal with your marriage. its unfortunate that your husband is not "there for you" right now, but that is his choice. talk with your counselor about this as well. maybe there is a support group you can join? maybe the therapist can suggest other ideas (yoga, excercise?) to help YOU get thru this. DON'T do this for your husband - do this for YOU because YOU deserve a good life. I hope that your husband will come thru for you and for your marriage.
good luck to you!