any advice??

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
any advice??
2
Wed, 01-07-2004 - 1:41pm
Hi - I need some advice - I have been dating a wonderful guy for 7 months now - I know that I Love him but I haven't said that to him yet. I want to tell him but I'm afraid to say it in case he doesn't say it back - I don't want to have that I Love you hanging out there. I'm pretty sure that he feels the same way even though he has never said it to me - but his actions kinda make me feel like he does feel that way towards me, but again that could just be me reading in to things. We are both divorced - he was married for 20 years so I don't know if he is going to say those 3 words to me quite yet even if he does feel that way. So how can I go about getting out of an embarrasing situation should he not say anything back to me? Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: milltwngrl1
Wed, 01-07-2004 - 3:45pm
milltwngrl...

Are you really, really SURE that his feelings for you match the ones you have for him?

There may be a "bond" between you both, but that doesn't necessarily mean there's an engagement ring or a wedding in your future! However...

If you are nervous about his reaction (should you choose to utter those 3 magic words in his presence), why not send him a nice (NOT MUSHY) friendship card and enclose a short note indicating your feelings for him. Keep your message to the point...NO LONG POEMS or a lot of gooey stuff!

You'll know how he feels about you WITHIN 48 HOURS...because after he reads your card, he'll either pick up the phone and call you.....or will completely IGNORE YOU.

Best of luck.

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2003
In reply to: milltwngrl1
Wed, 01-07-2004 - 4:32pm
I think that seven months is long enough to know if you love someone...I've been with my man for nine months, and he proposed to me on New Year's Day. We were both married as well, so it was easy to figure out what we wanted in a partner, and it was really easy for us to discuss it. About three months into our relationship, we sat down and kind of had a talk. It consisted of a lot of "I don't want to ever get divorced again...if I ever get married again, it will be for good." and also a lot of "if you don't want to get serious, don't waste my time." I'm not up to the dating thing. I want to be settled down. I decided that the first time I got married, so I just told my fiance that. The next thing I knew, we were in love. And I said it first. I just simply said "I love how I feel when I'm with you, and the things I love about you are things that will never go away, and the things I don't care for, I'll learn to live with." I believe we have a very mature love. If you're too nervous, I wouldn't say anything. The relationship we have, I can say ANYTHING without having to worry. That's the point you want to get to before you start spitting out "I love you"'s.

Sarah