Are life-long marriages real anymore?
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Are life-long marriages real anymore?
| Wed, 03-19-2008 - 1:40am |
Hello
I'm not really sure how this works, or who will be reading it, but I write in hopes that the universe will direct this wherever it needs to go to help me find answers/help.
I'm a 26 year-old college student, wife, and mother, and

If he doesn't want to go to therapy, that's perfectly OK. YOU turned outside of the marriage, certainly you have some issues to resolve within yourself. If you go to therapy to figure out things so that history doesn't repeat itself, you're going to win points and even more importantly, you're going to give him reason to start trusting you. Trust takes a LONG time to rebuild, but with consistent work on your part, it can be done, little by little.
Welcome to the board monalisasmile-sc,
Most couples cannot overcome betrayal and rebuild trust without counseling.
Welcome to the board monalisasmile-sc,
At this point I think counseling is about the only thing that could save your relationship. If your husband will not go with you, than go by yourself. Then at least you would have someone to talk to about thing and they could give you advice on how to try and get things back on track.
It will be hard though. Best of luck to you.
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You are both very young and have a great deal of responsibility between the two of you. It's natural that you would both be straining in this situation. It also sounds as though you do not have the skills needed to communicate appropriately, deal with anger, work on re-building trust and re-establish your relationship. You both definitely need professional help at this point. It's crucial to find a really well trained marriage counselor and also perhaps therapists to help you both work through these issues. You can get some good referrals through your doctors, pastors, universities, psychology departments, or also by asking others for a recommendation of someone they've personally used. If you do not know others who have gone for therapy, then start researching these other sources.
In order to deal with the many issues that are going on, you must have the help. It's way beyond your own ability to understand and handle at the present time. Particularly since you have a child, I feel it is extremely important to at least do all you can and try to work things through. Even if, in the long run, you choose to leave the relationship, unless you work these problems out now, they will just re-appear in future relationships later on.
All good wishes,
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