are those just bad jokes? or the truth

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2003
are those just bad jokes? or the truth
3
Tue, 03-23-2004 - 10:59pm
hello!

i've been with my bf for a bit more than a year. Everything is going good, although we have our bad times. However, lately he's been making really bad jokes, like if you don't pass your class i am going to break up with you, or when we were talking and he said if you want to go with someone else we could break up..when i asked him what you want to break up..he said i don't know with a sarcastic smile on his face. since he lost his job, a week ago...sex hasn't been really there, and when today he said we haven't been having a lot of sex lately, i said i know and is it because you are stressed? he respoded jokingly i am not attracted to you anymore. are these just bad jokes or is there some truth to it? and i have asked him that already and he said that he is just joking. and another question.....can the lose of a job make him not very sexual...i read about that..but i am just wandering?

thankx

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2003
Tue, 03-23-2004 - 11:17pm
this is serious stuff! a boyfriend who loves you should NEVER speak like that. you should have a serious talk with him about his behaviour and what's going on.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Wed, 03-24-2004 - 9:38am

No one should joke about this type of stuff and the fact that he is alarms me..


I can understand that he lost his job and may be feeling a little insecure about things right now, so in turn, by saying these hurtful things to you, he is giving you the opportunity to get away.The way he may be thingking is.."well, I dont even have a job, why would she want to be with me?". Either that, or he just doesnt want the relationship and is hoping by saying mean things he can push you away so it will be easier when he does leave.Either way, he is wrong and going about things in a very immature way.


I would ask him whats going on, how is really feeling.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-24-2004 - 10:28am
Sounds like he got with you thinking life would be an easier and less responsiblity oriented ride...and it'sn ot proving to be that, so he's telling you that you're now not providing the red carpet easy ride he expected and if you want to move on - you can, so that he can find someone to support him in the style in which he'd like to become accustomed, while having no demands on him whatsoever because they adore him just as he is.

In which case...leave.

Erin

quickblade14@hotmail.com