Asked to intervene

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2005
Asked to intervene
6
Mon, 08-04-2008 - 12:47am

Hello,


I am writing to get some advice on how to do what you do best, save a relationship.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Mon, 08-04-2008 - 1:48pm

Welcome to the board maxiesmom123,


Do you plan on telling her that brother-in-law asked for your help? If not, just tell her that you noticed he wasn't being himself lately and you wondered if there was something going on. Then just give her your honest opinion about them going to counseling together and her moving away from doing her own thing. Since you have a good relationship with them, I would think she would be respective to your advice. Best of luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2005
Mon, 08-04-2008 - 10:35pm

Clara,


Thanks for you reply.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Tue, 08-05-2008 - 1:10pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 08-18-2008 - 4:21pm

Hi maxiesmom123,


How did things work out?





angels

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2005
Mon, 08-18-2008 - 11:56pm

Carrie,


Thanks for your message.

 

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-19-2008 - 11:11am

It's difficult to get someone to go to therapy if they do not want to, or if they are not personally in pain themselves. It sounds as though she does have issues to work out about her reaction to her own parent's marriage, but unless she wants to work them out and change her ways, no one can cause her to do so. You might just tell her that all of life is a balance, and that unless she learns to balance her freedom and independence, with being intimate and close to her husband, she risks losing the relationship. She has to realize that she is putting her marriage at risk. The words you find to actually say it are up to you and to how it feels in the moment with her. Sometimes a person thinks they can behave in anyway they want to and there will be no consequences. Then it comes as a shock when something they have love is lost. At that time it can be too late. (Perhaps you can put it that way). At any rate, this is a sad situation, but ultimately it is between them and they have to work it through.


Best wishes,