Attracted to husband's Cardiologist

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Attracted to husband's Cardiologist
5
Fri, 04-23-2004 - 11:30pm
I have been married and faithful to my husband for the last four years -soon will be fifth year this coming fall. I still love him, but I'm really confused and not sure why... when my husband ended up in the hospital and had to have a minor surgery done, I met his cardiologist for the first time - wham! I've begun to feel so intensely attracted to him, for the last two months. I never had that experience like that before - is it just a normal reaction? Will it go away eventually? I learned that his cardiologist has been divorced for a year; and was married for one year. Don't get me wrong; and I just want to do the right thing - I really hate the thought of hurting my husband if he learns about my attraction! :-(
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2004
Sat, 04-24-2004 - 6:57pm
The funny thing about healthy relationships is that being attracted to another person is completely NORMAL- we're human and it's just our nature to take interests in things that are aesthetically pleasing to us. It's not being attracted to someone else that ends relationships, it's how a person acts on those feelings that matters.

Keep it mum- don't tell your husband, it will only hurt him and/or stir up feelings of insecurity & jealousy. You don't want your husband to stop seeing his doctor because he's uncomfortable- especially if he needs that doc. The feelings will pass.

Remember, passion is temporary, love, sometimes dulls, but is eternal.

Good Luck!!

Welsh_Lily

Sydnie

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Sun, 04-25-2004 - 2:59am

its "normal" to feel "physically attracted" to other people, you are married - not dead! in this case, i would bet, that you are feeling other feelings as well - gratitude, this doctor is your "hero", you probably feel, deep down, that he saved your husband's life, that he "understands" how you feel, how scared you were, he was "there" for you ---- all totally normal and undestandable feelings. also - you may have been scared and/or angry at your husband (again, normal feelings) and its easier to deal with this 'doctor issue' than to think about losing him. maybe your husband was scared and took it out on you?


focus on your relationship with your husband right now. think of this as having a crush on leonardo di caprio - not likely to go any further, but fun to think about it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Sun, 04-25-2004 - 12:21pm
I think it is normal to be attracted to someone-especially this person that did so much for you and your husband. Don't worry about it unless you really ahve a desire to leave or things are lacking in your marriage. Then work on what is lacking.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Sun, 04-25-2004 - 12:29pm
I agree with all the responses you have gotten so far, I would only add what they didn't touch upon - don't dig into the Doctor's private life....not sure how you know he's recently divorced, but you need to keep the relationship 'professional' and not make it a private relationship. The doctor has his own healing to do after a divorce.


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Sun, 04-25-2004 - 1:14pm
Just want to say big thanks to everyone, including you, who have responded to my "confusion" message! I really feel much better by knowing that it's NORMAL to feel this way *whew* Now, I know what I have to do... just simply focus on myself and my husband! LOL

Speaking of the cardiologist's private life, I didn't want or even think about "digging" into his life, because I don't believe in getting involved in people's lives. What happened when I learned that he is divorced was that HE asked me how long I was married and I said that it'd be 5 years this coming fall. He said good; and then suddenly said that he was married for one year and then now one year being divorced. I said "ouch!". I was thinking to myself, how painful that must be! He said "yeah", with a somber look. That was the end of that topic; and we then turned to see my husband.

So, right now, my husband is doing fine at the moment; and still has to go for the follow-up every few months with this cardiologist. Hopefully, things will look brighter for all of us! :-D