back together or just friends??

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2004
back together or just friends??
1
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 5:29pm
Hey, ok, My ex and I have been emailing and he has invited me over a few times, but, I've been busy with work. He's 21 and I am 19, just so ya know. Anyway,in his most recent email he asked me if i had a new boyfriend, and if i would call him.I was nervous about calling him because I don't know how he would react if he heard how I miss him in my voice. But, I am going to call him tommorow. I am surprised that he is doing all of this now...because before we never really spoke. So, between then and now something happened, whether someone said something to him or he just realized that us breaking up was a stupid move. Because a little while after we broke up he said that we probably wouldn't be friends or something but now it turned into him inviting me over and wanting me to call him. I don't have a new boyfriend because I want my ex back, he never cheated on me and was always there for me, no matter what, and supported anything that I could dream up. Yes, he was the perfect boyfriend. But, see, my mom didn't like him, I have absolutely no idea why. But, I don't care what she thinks, it's my life and I can do whatever I want. This is how I feel so I am not going to let anyone make me feel or think differently. I know how great he was, he was the kindest person and had alot of maturity but was still cool.

So, I ask this, do you think he might want me back and doesn't know how to say it? Because that is how I am feeling. Should I tell him how I feel exactly or wait and see what he says when I call him? I don't want to get my hopes up for nothing. But, I really want to know what he is thinking. Help me please!

blondebeauty03

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2004
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 5:46pm
Hey, ok, im only 20 so i haven't exactly got as much experience on love and relationships as some of the members here but i have been in your position with two different guys. The first guy i had been with for a year and a half and he e-mailed me saying he wanted us to be friends after being split up for 2 months, we met up a few times and in the end we ended up back together and he admitted that the reason for e-mailing me wasn't because he wanted us to be friends, he wanted me back. The same with the second guy. So i do think he wants you back BUT you can't go telling him all your feelings just incase he is only e-mailing you because he is lonely. Love is a game, and if you really want him back I would just play it cool. I did this with the first guy and it worked. However, with the second ex, when he e-mailed me we became friends and instantly he started saying how much he loved me and missed me and I started pouring out my heart to him and he ran a mile! So my advice to you, is let him do the chasing. Dont give too much away, until your sure that his feelings are true. Men love a chase, and it will keep him interested for longer. As for your Mum, my Mum was the same with both guys and she was right in the end. Mum's are always right unfortunately because they are older and wiser and can see things more quickly than us youngsters because they have been there done that and learnt. This may just be a lesson to you, to prepare you for love in the future. So a summary of my advice is: yes he does want you back but dont tell him your feelings straight away, let him chase you. And keep in the back of your mind that he might just be feeling lonely and is looking for some words of affection from you to know that he's still got you to run back to everytime he gets lonely. And also, respect your Mum's feelings, she could be right about him.