So he was in a bad mood and that put you in a bad mood. After a year he sees you as a little different one time. WHy should this be the end of the relationship? Why should this be turned into such drama?
How is your relationship otherwise? Is there something else going on?
While I don't think that a birthday is "your" day where you're entitled to whatever you want... The fact I'm looking at is that he had things planned for you, and the overriding reason for not doing them was his current mood. Therefore you are not wrong in your expectations, he is wrong for letting his mood ruin something special that he otherwise would have done with you.
His mood is his responsibility, just as your mood is your responsibility. Of course we're all affected by people and things that happen in our lives but really it is a CONSCIOUS CHOICE how we react to them. Ultimately, he made the choice of letting his mood ruin the day.
While it was a little snotty of you to announce "MY day!!" I can say that I understand how you feel. I've had crappy birthdays before because of a man. I just don't think it helped the situation. Instead of feeling like he wanted to make it up to you and snap out of it, what you said made him feel defensive and guilty. Remember that how you act toward him will dictate how he REACTS. If you tried to be kind to him and cheer him up and he wasn't having it, then unfortunately the right step would be to say "I want to have a good time on my birthday, call me when you're feeling better" and then dial up some friends to take you out on your birthday. Sometimes continuing to persuade someone out of their own bad mood is just a waste of your time. But if you had handled it by saying "ok bye", that might have been what he needed to say "ok ok sorry I'll be better!"
It is probably too soon to know this for sure, but it's very possible that he took your reaction over the birthday plans - and his own feelings of guilt over the situation - and learned from them. You should forgive one another and make a commitment to move on from this.
Pages
Hi there sunshine.
Welcome to the board sunshine_in_dallas,
Wow, timing is everything.
So he was in a bad mood and that put you in a bad mood. After a year he sees you as a little different one time. WHy should this be the end of the relationship? Why should this be turned into such drama?
How is your relationship otherwise? Is there something else going on?
Edited 11/13/2007 12:08 pm ET by ciao__gina
While I don't think that a birthday is "your" day where you're entitled to whatever you want... The fact I'm looking at is that he had things planned for you, and the overriding reason for not doing them was his current mood. Therefore you are not wrong in your expectations, he is wrong for letting his mood ruin something special that he otherwise would have done with you.
His mood is his responsibility, just as your mood is your responsibility. Of course we're all affected by people and things that happen in our lives but really it is a CONSCIOUS CHOICE how we react to them. Ultimately, he made the choice of letting his mood ruin the day.
While it was a little snotty of you to announce "MY day!!" I can say that I understand how you feel. I've had crappy birthdays before because of a man. I just don't think it helped the situation. Instead of feeling like he wanted to make it up to you and snap out of it, what you said made him feel defensive and guilty. Remember that how you act toward him will dictate how he REACTS. If you tried to be kind to him and cheer him up and he wasn't having it, then unfortunately the right step would be to say "I want to have a good time on my birthday, call me when you're feeling better" and then dial up some friends to take you out on your birthday. Sometimes continuing to persuade someone out of their own bad mood is just a waste of your time. But if you had handled it by saying "ok bye", that might have been what he needed to say "ok ok sorry I'll be better!"
our relationship is well, different to say the least.
that my baby sitter was having more fun than i was
Hi again,
I think eggbertshootsfire caputred what I wanted to say, so I'm going to quote her:
"...
no i'm not.
i am not an accepting person.
Pages