bad to worse

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2004
bad to worse
4
Sat, 09-11-2004 - 3:19pm


discussion title: from bad to worse

emoticon:

message #: x.1

from: nervousgirl

date: 3:17 pm



FOB was living with me but we had real issues as he was partying and spending money like crazy and was generally not supportive of me and my needs. he claimed he wanted the baby but would go back and forth about us and our future. anyways, we got into a huge fight because he refused to go to the doc with me but would rather sleep since he was out until 5 am the night before. after i returned we continued to fight and i told him i wanted him out, that i was tired of him and his behavior. he called his ow to pick him up as i refused to let him take my car and i told him to take all his stuff and get out. he refused saying that he would leave when he wanted to. i said no leave now. he continued to play XBOX and i went to unplug it. he came up behind me and threw me to the ground. he fighting excallated and the neighbors ended up calling the police adn they arrested him. he is now spending the weekend in jail and i have to go to court on monday to get a protection order. i am not filing charges the state does but i guess there goes all my hopes of a happy family life as he will definatly hate me forever and blame me for this. and the ow showed up after he was taken away and she went psycho yelling at me and the cops and blaiming me calling me crazy and such. and i guess i am as the doc put me on anti depressants yesterday. my mom is in town now and helping me handle everything but it is hard because i still love him and didn't want him in jail, just out on my house. what has my life come to and why am i destined to take this horrible path.



Avatar for blondie0506
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: nervousgirl
Sat, 09-11-2004 - 6:35pm
You're only destined to take the path you CHOOSE to take.

He hits you (throws you down) and has an OW. Why do you even WANT him? You will NEVER be a happy family with this man. Happy families don't consist of mom, baby, and guy who hits mom and cheats on her.

I strongly urge you to keep this man out of your life, except, of course, to go after him for child support (visit your local welfare office to inquire about legal assistance) and get some counseling for yourself to find out why you would even consider staying with this guy?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2004
In reply to: nervousgirl
Sat, 09-11-2004 - 7:48pm
Are you pregnant now? Advice from someone who's been through all that. Only I stayed and had two more kids, married him, the whole deal. Thank God for my kids, but sweetheart beleive it or not, you can find true love and someone who cherishes you. It may be very hard to not think of him, love is hard, but love comes from both sides. My husband went to jail also. He blamed me, later apologized, continued to be controlling and violent for the rest of our marriage. I eventually started fighting back, only than we were also hurting our children, who are now ages 14, 13 and 11, and all in counseling now, my 11 year old has night terrors, my 12 yr. old tells his counselor he feels like hurting people and himself. I blame many years of fighting with him. People usually don't think of things like that or that far ahead, I wish I would have. I thought he was my soul mate and loved him more than life, and it was hard to leave him, but happiness can still go on and you'll find that out when you meet the man of your dreams, and thank God you thought better about yourself than to put up with that kind of treatment. Good Luck!! Thank God you have your Mom to be by your side. I have no Mom or Dad, it was a lonely road for me, but I did find the man of my dreams, and I had two boys with him, and am very glad I had the courage to leave, but didn't get it for 11 yrs. and boy do I wish I would have left sooner.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2004
In reply to: nervousgirl
Sat, 09-11-2004 - 8:35pm
You need counseling right away. You are destroying your life.

1. You met and dated a loser

2. You let the loser move in with you

3. Does this loser work?

4. THis loser is also a partier

5. He uses what money to party and drink?

6. You had a baby for this loser, are you nutz?

7. This loser cheats on you too.

8. You have not changed your locks or put his stuff on the street, are you nutz?

9. You still love this cheater, abuser, loser????? WHY!?

Please get some help. If you cannot handle the baby, adoption is an option. But get away from this abusive cheater man. Change the locks, dump out his stuff on the lawn, and get some counseling for yourself. You really deserve a better life. You are ruining your own life by your bad choices.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
In reply to: nervousgirl
Sun, 09-12-2004 - 12:38am

this is just so sad and i am sorry for the mess you are in.... you are NOT crazy. going to the dr and getting anti depressants just means that you are AWARE that you need help and you are BRAVE enuf to go out and GET HELP! its sounds like the "crazy" person is your BF. hitting you? throwing you on the ground? cheating on you? does this sound like a "happy family life"? no, it doesnt


whether you are pregnant now, or not, (it was not clear from your message) - GET OUT! leave this scumbag to enjoy his life with his OW. YOU deserve a better life than this. talk to your dr about getting into therapy - NOT living on anti depressants (altho for