Is this Bartender interested?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2013
Is this Bartender interested?
Sun, 06-16-2013 - 10:47pm

So last week, I was went on a date with a guy I met around Christmas. He told me to meet him at this local bar. I arrived a little bit earlier never been to this bar in town before, and I see this guy I knew when I was kid he's 7 years older than I am so we never talked. We were more acquaintances went to the same church, he was in the youth group I was just beginning to be in the youth group etc etc. So, when I see him I'm like "I know you", and he looked at me and was like "yeah we do know each other"! 

So we chat/catch up up for a bit, and then my date comes in. I was a little disappointed because I think at that point I was more interested in staying and chatting with my bartender friend than my date. I'm not rude, so I leave and go on my date. Ask my bartender friend when he works, and tell him I'll come visit him the next day. Didn't though.

Date was super awkward. I don't know if I haven't seen you in a while, you can't just assume that everything is back to normal, or think that gives you permission to stick your tongue down my throat lol.

So, yesterday I go back to visit mr.bartender. He grabs my hand to shake it and holds on to it for a minute and we are like staring at each other/talking for a good 5 seconds before he lets go haha. He compliments my polka dotted dress, and says I look pretty. And then comments, "no hot date"?. I laugh and tell him no and explained what happened. I stay there for a little bit, and I tell him that I have to go, and he's like where ya going"? I tell him I am going to a happy hour with some co-workers. Then he's like I took care of the first drink for you so it will be this amount. He persuades me to stay for one more drink, become friends with some strangers at the bar...and stayed longer.

I did end up asking for his number, he's in a band, so I tried to crack a joke about it, and he gave it to me. When I left nothing magical happened. I texted him that it was me and he hasn't responded.

So, I know that it's a bartender's job to flirt, and give free drinks to keep people coming back. But do y'all think there maybe could be something there? Also, how do you go about dating a bartender? I definitely want to see him, but I don't want to look clingy by showing up every Friday.

Thanks guys!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Mon, 06-17-2013 - 12:03am

As you know, and as you said, it's his job to be friendly, especially to women, because if there are women at a bar, men will come to the bar!  It's good business.  He didn't offer his number, you asked for it!  If he's a bartender (nights) and plays in a band (nights), when would he have time to date?  You could probably hang at that bar, and follow the band, but all that would get you would be late night hookups I think.  You texted him and he didn't respond.  I think that's your answer. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2011
Wed, 06-19-2013 - 1:56pm

in real life these things end up with you getting bent over and probably even contracting something youre not ready to handle....

do yourself a favor , fantasize about him and enjoy the orgasm.

in real life youll end up feeling like crap, so hop to the next one.

good luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2012
Wed, 06-19-2013 - 4:05pm

I've been freinds with several bartenders who have girlfriends. It is their job to flirt with the girls...even though they have girlfriends. They work 5-6 nights a week until 2-4am and sleep until 1-2pm the next day. 

If you think you can handle/want to put up with that lifestyle, go for it. For me...not so much